GMA Anchor Amy Robach on Battling Cancer and Critics
‘Better’ by Amy Robach. (Photo: Penguin Randomhouse)
Two years ago, Good Morning America reporter Amy Robach got an assignment she really didn’t want when ABC producers asked her to get a mammogram live on air. Although it was in honor of breast cancer awareness month, Robach wasn’t comfortable. Her first thought was ‘no way.’ But when anchor Robin Roberts convinced her that the segment could help save lives, she caved. It turned out to be a blessing. The then 40-year-old mother of two found out weeks later that she had breast cancer. She underwent a double mastectomy and eight rounds of chemo, and her life changed forever.
In her new book Better, Robach recounts the experience with unflinching honesty and insight, without glossing over the tough moments. At the time, Robach was newly married to former Melrose Place actor and entrepreneur Andrew Shue. A second marriage for both, the couple was already trying to blend their families, navigate their busy careers, and even figure out where and how to live with five kids between them. Cancer pushed an already busy existence into overdrive.
For Robach, the experience challenged all aspects of her life. She is candid about the pressure it put on her new marriage, her career, and how tough it was as a mother and daughter. Surprisingly, even though she shared her story publicly to help other women, Robach even had to deal with critics. Cancer pushed her limits, but ultimately to a place that Robach is proud of. The relationships she has with her husband, parents, children, and colleagues were deepened by the experience. “Maybe I’m not better physically, that’s still left to be determined, but I am so much better emotionally, mentally, spiritually,” says Robach. “I am a better mom, and a wife, and daughter, and friend, all of those things. It’s because of what I went through.”
Sara Bliss: I love the title of your book, Better. Tell me how you chose it.
Amy Robach: My daughter wrote me a poem when I was in the middle of chemo. It was one of my lowest moments and she saw me struggling. She was worried for me. She didn’t know what to say to me. She actually showed it to one of my best friends, Sarah Haines, who read it, burst into tears and said, “You have to show this to your mom.” I don’t even think I had the words to describe what it meant to me and how hopeful it made me to know that my little girl was rooting for me and believed that things would get better. So, when I was writing the book, I remembered the poem, and I thought it was perfect. Because, maybe I’m not better physically, that’s still left to be determined, but I am so much better emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I am a better mom, and a wife, and daughter, and friend, all of those things. It’s because of what I went through. I think anyone who reaches for a book when they are going through something as devastating as cancer wants to feel hopeful, and wants to connect. So the title is just perfect in so many ways.
Amy Robach with her mother and two daughters. (Photo: Amy Robach)
How cancer changes you physically is such a challenge for so many women, and something you explore in the book. You joke in the book that it took cancer to find your perfect haircut.
I lost my bust. I lost my fertility. I lost my youthful glow. I’m on this drug that robs my body of estrogen each and every day. I only lost about a quarter of my hair. I didn’t have it as bad as a lot of folks. I remember my oncologist telling me that the hair I had left would be dry, flat, and brittle, which was very true. It absolutely changes how you look, how you feel. And me cutting it short, and keeping it short now, in a style I never would have tried before has been very empowering because I am a different person now. In my mind, I should look a little different because I’m no longer the girl with the ponytail.
Amy Robach going through her last chemo treatment. (Photo: Amy Robach)
Did going through cancer change how you saw yourself?
Oh, in every way. The biggest lesson I’ve learned from cancer is that time is not guaranteed. I think we all know that intellectually, but you don’t know it really until you are facing death, or fighting for your life. So, yes, I know that today is all I have, and that’s all that’s guaranteed. So I will choose hour by hour what I want to do very carefully, and how I want to react to things. I really live each day like it’s a blessing. And when you’re in the middle of a diagnosis, you’re living hour to hour — you are in the moment in a way that I had never lived before. I was always looking for the next thing and what I was going to do next.
You spoke so candidly about how cancer affected your marriage and ultimately made it stronger. How do you think it changed the two of you as a couple?
In every way. I harken back to Ava’s poem where one of the lines says that it has to get worse before it gets better. That’s kind of what happened. It throws the dynamics of a relationship off because I think a lot of us women as wives, think that we’re going to do it all, and we can take it all and ‘I’ve got this.’ And all of a sudden I didn’t have anything. All of the balls that I had been juggling up in the air gracefully just fell on the floor. Everyone has to take on different roles than they did before. It absolutely has an impact on your marriage, all of your relationships, with your friends and your children. Everything changes. All of a sudden you’re somebody you don’t recognize, and you have to reconcile that and figure out how to come back together and be a team. And that’s what we did. But there were some really tough moments. And like so many things in life, when you go through really tough times, this bond is created that is truly unbreakable. Because if you can get through that, you can get through anything, and that’s where we are today.
Amy Robach and her husband, Andrew Shue. (Photo: Amy Robach)
People published an interview with the headline ‘Cancer Nearly Destroyed My Marriage.’ They changed it ultimately, to ‘Cancer Made My Marriage Stronger.’ Tell me a little about that experience.
I just think that it was disappointing and unnecessary, [just] to sell magazines. I’m a big believer in making sure the tone is right. I’m a journalist. I’m trusted with people’s stories. What we promote and how we sell a story is just as important as how we tell a story. I’m a big believer in that, and appreciate the fact that they changed it online. I think the tone of my book is one of hope. Yes, my story is different in ways but I’m sure it’s similar in ways too. I’ve walked down that road, too. You’ll get to the other side, but it’s tough along the way. To me, the headline was out of context.
Surprisingly, you had some negativity sent your way by some prominent people in the cancer world Dr. Susan Love and Peter Bach. It must have been a shock, since you were doing something so positive by being open about your cancer and trying to encourage other women to get screened. How did you handle that?
I was in shock and taken aback, and really wounded, especially by Dr. Bach because my whole intention was never to offend anyone. My whole intention was to inspire people and raise funds to end metastatic breast cancer, not to be a cheerleader saying ‘I’m all better.’ When I gave that speech, I was still in the middle of chemo. So I was in fight mode. And I don’t apologize for telling my story because that’s just what it is – my story. I’m not an advocate for treatment or doing things my way. It’s just sharing and hopefully informing people about the necessity of early detection. There was a moment that I thought I didn’t want to be out in public anymore if I have to take this. Life is too short. I started thinking about the greater impact and overwhelming majority of people who have responded so positively. I know the lives I’ve saved and I decided I would keep talking. A few people, I call them the vocal minority, were not going to silence me.
I liked the comment that Josh Elliot made about you, he called you a trucker and a pirate.
I heard it and didn’t know if I was a compliment, but it is because it’s truthful. We all have those parts of your personality, and man do they come out when you’re fighting cancer, because you need to be that tough person. I think is within all of us. You grow up in this business and you have to become strong and be able to take it and dish it out, and be able to hang with the boys in a way. I used all of those experiences in my field, hanging with cops, and murderers and crime scenes, and being on the road and eating foods I shouldn’t, and you kind of toughen up and draw on those experiences when you’re your weakest and most vulnerable. You really channel that inner pirate trucker inside of you to get through it. Sometimes a few curse words don’t hurt either when you’re just really pissed. It’s cathartic.
Related:
Cancer 2.0: A Breast Cancer Warrior Goes Back in the Ring
