The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

Having kids on summer break is just hearing "I'm bored!" until everyone is crying.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 26, 2017

There's no calm before the storm quite like drinking coffee before the kids wake up.

— SHANtilly Lace (@theshantilly) June 29, 2017

I'm writing a book about parenting called, "Nevermind, I'll Just Do It Myself!"

— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) June 24, 2017

92% of taking your kids to the pool is telling them to stop splashing you

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 25, 2017

If persuading my kids to eat the dinner I cook every night doesn't count as sales experience, I don't know what does.

— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) June 27, 2017

No thanks, surround-sound systems. My 4 kids have that covered.

— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) June 28, 2017

Our daughter is threatening to never talk to us at night if we don't let her stay up & I don't think she understands threats or negotiation.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) June 26, 2017

Cranky Kid: THAT'S IT. I'M MOVING OUT.
Me:
Kid:
Me:
Kid: MOOOooooOOMM!
Me: FINE. [sigh] Oh no. Please. Don't go. Anything but that.

— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) June 28, 2017

I love how we have a big tv so my 3 kids can crowd around the tiny iPad and argue over not being able to see.

— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) June 28, 2017

Perhaps the reason the "days are long" with kids is because they start at 6am.

— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) June 28, 2017

Right now I'm that dad playing hide & seek with my kid so I can actually get shit done while she thinks she has the "perfect" hiding spot.

— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) June 25, 2017

Are you really a parent if your kids' board books don't double as coasters?

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) June 26, 2017

I just want to be as excited for something as my 5yo gets when I let her use scissors and glue.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) June 25, 2017

Light bulb moments. pic.twitter.com/mcijBHngW6

— Dave Learns Dadding (@DaveLearnsToDad) June 28, 2017

Every book is a coloring book to a toddler.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) June 24, 2017

[9 AM]

5: Can we go swimming?

Me: It looks like the weather is going to clear up around 2, so we can go then

[9:03 AM]

5: Is it 2 yet?

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 30, 2017

I love my family more than anything in the world, but not iron their clothes love them.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 29, 2017

You're officially old when you hear songs your parents worried about you listening to as a teen playing in ads for sensible family vehicles.

— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) June 24, 2017

Me around my kids: “We’re having whole wheat toast because it’s healthier.”

Me by myself: *eats entire can of Pringles for breakfast*

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 30, 2017

I always thought the cliche of kids asking "are we there yet?" on a long car ride was made up but GOD HELP ME IT'S TRUE THAT'S ALL THEY SAY

— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 24, 2017