Susan Saint James at 68: The Emmy-Winning TV Star Looks Back
Yahoo Beauty editor in chief Bobbi Brown speaks with actress and friend Susan Saint James. (Photo: Everett Collection)
Starting in the late ‘60s and continuing for the next two decades, Susan Saint James was a huge TV star. She won an Emmy Award her breakout year in 1969, and earned seven Emmy nominations throughout her career. Susan had her first starring role as Rock Hudson’s wife in the '70s crime drama McMillan & Wife. In the mid-'80s, she shined opposite Jane Curtin in the popular series about two single moms, Kate & Allie. Then, at the height of her career, in her 40s Susan decided to retire, move to Connecticut, and devote herself to her five children. It was a surprising move for such a huge actress, and although Susan candidly admits to some struggles during that time, it’s a choice she’s happily stuck with for all these years.
I’ve been lucky enough to call Susan a friend. She’s one of those women who light up a room, and she has the most amazing attitude and perspective on life. Whether it was the decision to stop drinking, or the loss of her youngest son, Teddy, in a plane crash in 2004, I’ve watched her handle life’s hurdles with grace and strength. I caught up with Susan to talk about it all — acting with Rock Hudson, her hippie days, her relationship to Britney Spears, and her inspiring 34-year marriage to Dick Ebersol.
Bobbi Brown: I’ve loved getting to know you all these years, but I wish I could have recorded half of our conversations on the ski slopes.
Susan Saint James: Oh gosh I know, it’s just so funny, the best stuff happens when nobody is there.
I especially love the stories you tell of working with Rock Hudson.
We did a pilot one year and then worked together almost five and a half years, except that they went on a year without me. My character died. It was very sad, but his character didn’t waste any time having any other girlfriends either! I saw him years later, and I said, “How could you! How could you have gotten together with Sally Field?” [laughs]. But at the time I thought, “I’m turning 30, I better get out to the movie world soon.” So it was OK.
You had started a family around that time, too.
I had my second child on my third year, so I thought, “Oh my kids are going to be too demanding to be taking time off to try and launch a movie career.” It was a big deal then to jump from television to movies; it’s not so hard now. But in those days you were one or the other. Once I was a sole supporter of my kids, I knew I had to do this while they were little and they didn’t eat much, you know [laughs]. So I did try, I did about four films in that time, but everything about filmmaking was so hard with kids. I mean, one film I did was in the Philippines! The locations are far, and kids once they get in school don’t want to travel. So I was thrilled to go back to television after that.
Backing up even more, you started your career as a model, right?
Yes, because that was the only door I knew in. When I was 17, my brother was marrying a famous model. She was the thinnest human I have ever seen in my whole life. I mean, I thought I was thin and I was 140. So I went on the diet on the side of the Special K box and by the time I got to their wedding, I was 104. So yeah, I really got skinny.
Oh my God, Susan.
If they’d known the word “anorexia,” they probably would have thought I had it. I just thought I had to do something extreme or I would be stuck in college for four years when I really just wanted to get going.
For how many years did you model?
I got a book together pretty quickly and then Kennedy got shot in November. I was like, “I can’t live in this country where they shoot the president.” So I went and took my little book to France and modeled for a year and a half. I spoke French. It was fun. I wasn’t prepared to be a permanent ex-pat for the rest of my life so I came back and regrouped. I didn’t really want to model anymore; you know I wasn’t that tall and I couldn’t stay that thin. So I went to L.A. and I stayed at the YWCA, which was founded by Mary Pickford for young actresses. I didn’t even have a car, I had to take a bus in L.A. As you know, Bobbi, there are no buses in LA [laughs].
How did you end up breaking in?
I went to acting classes for a while, and I thought, “Oh, I am going to get stuck in acting classes. When do you graduate from this?” So I ditched those and I did tryouts at all the studios. An agent who was friends with my friend got me into Universal and they signed me into a contract at 19. They sent me over to read for a part, I met with the director, and he said, “Can you read this?” I read it really fast, I was so nervous. He said, “Perfect, just a little bit faster and you’ve got the part.”
What was that role?
It was called Fame Is the Name of the Game and it was with Anthony Franciosa, who was this big studio actor. It was so exciting to work with him. I mean, I’d never seen a movie camera. I’d never shot a commercial. I was just like, “Where do I stand?” I was so enthusiastic I think I drove everyone crazy! But the first year on the series, I won an Emmy.
Isn’t that also how you met your ex-husband?
Yes, he was Tony’s makeup man. For me, with Tommy it was great. We were vegetarian and I was nursing the kids, naming them Sunshine and Harmony.
So it sounds like you went through a hippie phase.
Total hippie! My brother was in the Marine Corps, and I always tell people I was never against the boys, I was just really against that war. That was part of my life for so long and I hear people today talking about no GMOs. Well, we were doing that in the ’60s. I made all the kids’ clothes. I sewed. I made all of our bread. We had no waste. We went to co-ops and filled the jar with the peanut butter directly. I was living that life. But when Nixon resigned I smoked a cigarette and ordered a steak, that was the first thing I did. I said, “Oh, I can ditch this, I can go be a normal person again because we’ve achieved our goal getting this guy out of office.” So that’s how it was.
And how did you meet the love of your life? I adore your husband, Dick.
He’s the best. I was divorced six years when I met Dick. I was kind of thinking it was good. I had a little Porsche. I had my two kids. I had a lot of friends in the music business. I had a good life. And they called me to be on Saturday Night Live. When Dick came to the door, he introduced himself as the producer. We met Sunday night and by Saturday night we were madly in love. Six weeks later, we were married.
How long have you guys been married?
Thirty-four years.
That’s amazing!
I know! And you know, Bobbi, I know you’ll agree with me on this because of your marriage, but I heard a great quote: “If you want a great marriage, you have to stay in one.” You have to get through those crap times that you want to kill each other. Or when we lost our son 10 years ago, millions of marriages break up from that. But because Dick was so injured, we went through that early grief with him at home, so everybody was able to take the same road.
I can’t believe it has been 10 years since you lost Teddy.
I know. I was sober, that was another thing that really helped our family. People ask, “Were you really a drunk?” I say, “Well, you don’t get sober if you’re not really having problems with alcohol.” Nobody said to me, “Mom, you’re driving us crazy.” They would just roll their eyes if I had too much wine. But my biggest problem was getting frustrated with five kids at home, and Dick’s job got bigger and bigger to where you know sometimes he couldn’t even get home on the weekend to see us. I was so unhappy. Eventually I said to somebody, “Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe I am drinking too much, it’s making me too moody, or something. I can’t get to the bottom of this.” And my friend said, “Well, you know I can take you to a meeting.” And I never had another drink. I really actually thought my problem was Dick, but then the miracle was that the problem didn’t turn out to be Dick at all. I either had to figure out whether I was going to be happy with that life or not. I figured out I didn’t want to go back to work, I loved being up here with my kids, and then all of a sudden it was like something had been lifted. And then we lost Teddy. I think of all of the wisdom that I got from recovering. Because there is so much philosophy that goes into that and so much applied itself to grief really well.
Tell me about the healing experience you had in New Mexico.
I went on this shamanic journey. I thought, “Uh, this will be interesting.” The woman that was the shaman said, “Now you’re going to beat a drum and you’re actually going to be put into kind of a trance, and you’re going to go on this journey and pick someone to go with you.” I thought, “OK, well, I’ll sit and relax here for a half an hour,” and the minute she started that drum, Teddy showed up. I’ve never had a dream about him, I’ve never had anything like that, and he said, “Mom, let’s go do this and that.” He had this great philosophy of life, and that was that.
It’s amazing, Susan, to hear you talk about Teddy in such a joyous way.
It’s so great if you can make that. It’s hard because the circumstances can slow you down a lot, because you’re busy trying to justify this. But I had to find a way to live with this thing. I mean, how do you live with this thing? You have to find a way to make it, to own it, not to walk around it and pretend it didn’t happen. But to come out on the other side saying, “I own this, I own my son, nobody can take this from me.” Sometimes Dick and I are sitting there and one or the other will just burst into tears, or the kids call and say that they’re so sad. And you go, “Oh my God, I feel cheated, I’ve been robbed.” But for the most part everybody just owns it and we accept it. And now there is a new phase because of the grandkids.
Tell me about being a grandmother. I just can’t even imagine how amazing it must be.
It is so divine that I can’t even explain it. I had to finally tell myself, “Don’t move next door to them, they need some space!” I am so close, and of course, out comes the sewing machine. I sewed them really fabulous Frozen costumes when we went to Disney. I sew them nightgowns. I love them. My daughter called me after her first child was born and said, “Mom, I am looking at my daughter and thinking how much I love her and you must have loved me that much when you had me.”
And I saw Charlie on TV last night. Did you see it?
Yes! My son is dating Britney Spears and they are crazy for each other. They just absolutely love each other. I tell people this is the same thing happening for her that happened for me. She has a residency in Vegas so she knows where she is going to be all the time, she is making a lot of money doing that so she’s not under pressure to get out there. I think the work is really, really hard. The 90-minute show is a killer, but I think it gives her a sense of rhythm. She sees her kids on a regular basis, and it’s all very ordinary. Charlie is crazy about her so that’s nice.
That’s wonderful. That must be a lot of work to prepare for that show.
She was over visiting Charlie one afternoon and she ran like 80 minutes on the treadmill. With a 90-minute show I don’t care who you are, you can’t like slack off.
Wow, that is dedication!
It’s fun to root for her. I’m all about her and she has a new song and all of us are so excited for her. But mostly we’re really happy for Charlie, because Charlie works really hard and he doesn’t take a lot of time off, and he’s found time for this thing to grow. I am wishing him all the best.
Have you been tempted to act again, Susan?
We just did a play reading. It was Christine Baranski, Mia Farrow, and Dorothy Lyman, who is a historical theater actress, and myself. It was a very little theater where Patty went to school. When we did the rehearsal everybody was like, “This is cute, this is fun,” but when everybody started it turned into this electric experience. I said to Dick after, “Of course, I would go back if I would be guaranteed to work with a group like that!” It was really fun and exciting.
I think it’s time! I think it’s time. And you’ve got your star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Honestly, I think the last time I was on film when I did Kate & Allie, I looked the way I see myself. But when I see pictures of myself today … maybe when they do, what was that show where she rode the bicycle on the Cape and solved crimes?
Murder, She Wrote with Angela Lansbury.
Yeah! If that comes back, I can look like a granny. Or if Charlie does something where he needs an old woman, I’ll be the lady that throws the stone into the water or something…
You definitely look so amazing at 68 years old! How do you keep yourself in such great shape?
I read a book called Younger Next Year and it was a wake-up call because it said you’ve got to do stuff to feel younger next year, and that includes working out every day. So I got a trainer. I had to stop talking about my weight, because my kids are like, “I don’t care what you ate last night, whether you lost weight or not.” Because with five kids I had to lose weight after babies, it was always an issue. So I have to be free of that now.
Actress Susan Saint James. (Photo: Getty)
What do you do for your skin?
I have gone to Elizabeth Arden since 1982. They go, “Susan, come in!” They know me. It’s beautiful there and they have beautiful lighting. When I’m home I never wear any makeup ever. I never, ever put my face in the sun. I put on a thick block, we go to Hawaii and we come back and we look the same color that we did when we left because neither of us will sit out there for half an hour and that’s it because I think that’s the killer for skin. It is nice to be tan, though, so I guess if I had to be tan, I’d go get sprayed or something.
You’re like the youngest 68-year-old person I have ever met. You have the best attitude!
I think part of it is that you have to do a few little things. I like to read up and keep hip to things. It’s yoga. It’s sleep. You know, you start to age and it’s hard to look in the mirror or see a picture. I fight the good fight, but I am so blessed, Bobbi, to have a husband…
That loves you for you.
Yes! But he is going blind slowly as he gets older, so it works out! I told him, “Do not get the eye laser because that will be bad for us”; he’ll open his eyes and go, “Whoa!”
You have the best sense of humor. I have really loved talking with you, as always. Thank you so much, Susan.
You too, Bobbi! Thank you.
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