13 Utterly Wild Moments From "Love Is Blind" Season 3 So Far
Alright baby, we're back. Who among us, when Love Is Blind first barreled into our pre-pandemic lives, thought we'd now be here, watching possibly the most bonkers season of an already bonkers show? It's almost special, in a way.
Hahahahahaha things are fine, I'm fine.
Given that this season has already irrationally consumed me upon its limited release, here are the wildest moments from the first four episodes of Love Is Blind Season 3:
?? Obviously, huge spoilers ahead.??
1.Colleen wanting people to see her as more than a sexy ballet dancer while simultaneously hyping herself up as a sexy ballet dancer.
Look, maybe I'm being pedantic here — but I think it's more than a little cringe to say "not every day you get to talk to [INSERT PROFESSION HERE]." Eh, maybe I'm just jealous because I can't do the splits.
FWIW, Colleen does not appear to be a full-time professional ballet dancer — her LinkedIn says her she works in PR full-time. Which is also cool! PR is great!
2.The fact that pretty much the first clip we see about Alexa is her talking about her weight.
Love Is Blind does not have a great track record when it comes to body diversity (need I remind you of Vanessa Lachey's comments this summer?), which is why my eyes rolled into the back of my skull at the show's decision to have Alexa's introduction on the show be about her weight. If she wanted to talk about her weight, awesome — but leading with justifying her body right off the bat, when it's not something the other contestants had to do, felt objectifying.
3.Andrew's talk on "orgasmic pleasure."
To quote Nancy: "Andrew gives me a heart attack."
4.Bartise talking about the demise of his parents' relationship while Raven did jumping jacks.
I have had to rewatch the moment where Raven realizes that Bartise could hear her and hooo mama, it's just as painful each time.
5.Colleen saying that she doesn't want a "deep" relationship with her...husband.
I'm no romance expert on, say, the level of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey — but this feels like a na?ve approach to marriage and lifelong partnership, no?
6.Raven confessing that she works in the service industry and that can be "challenging for men"...by which she means she bartends.
Is this not a big deal, or are men THAT insecure?
7.Cole admitting that he married someone after two months of dating — and that she divorced him after four months of marriage.
I can see why he'd be down for getting married so quickly on television.
8.Matt describing how his high school sweetheart cheated on him and got pregnant.
I don't have a snarky comment, this sounds like a horrible thing to have to go through, and I hope it doesn't impact his ability to form new connections.
9.ANDREW'S EYE-DROP-INDUCED FAKE TEARS?!?!?!!
BULLET FUCKING DODGED, NANCY. But seriously, I want an investigation into this. Did Andrew think that the show would edit out him shoving eye drops into his corneas? Did he think this is what everyone does on reality TV? Has he pulled this trick in his regular life? I NEED ANSWERS.
10.Before we leave the pods portion, I'd like a moment of silence for all the utterly deranged one-liners.
This was the moment I texted my friend to tell her that she would be "horrified by some of the displays of heterosexuality." She thought I was referring to my own relationship. I think about this often.
11.Cole and Zanab's unbelievably awkward silent argument the morning after their first night together.
This isn't the only skin-crawlingly tense interaction between the two: There's the "good vs. great" argument, Cole saying that Zanab has "bigger boobs than [he] expected" as if he is some kind of boob psychic, and Cole asking Zanab what her favorite big cat is because their conversation is "boring" (to name a few instances). I have known this couple, the type to smile through gritted teeth at one another while everyone else at the dinner table feels mildly uncomfortable. Perhaps they will happily drive each other miserable for years to come, I cannot tell yet.
12.Raven getting annoyed at SK for napping.
I haven't mentioned this couple much thus far, largely because their moments are more one long, lingering, awkward interaction. I do not get the impression that Raven is especially into SK. I would love to be proven wrong, but I would be most surprised if this couple end up getting hitched at the end.
13.Finally, the way Batiste spoke about Raven — even to Nancy's face.
This has the same energy as when my boyfriend at age 15 explained to me why I was a 7/10.
What do you think of the season so far? LMK in the comments!
You can watch me ramble about Andrew's tears here:
@buzzfeednow Love is Blind’s Andrew supposedly made himself “cry” with eye drops…what do you think? #loveisblind #loveisblinds3
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