30 of The Best "Crazy-Ex Girlfriend" Musical Numbers
Critically adored Crazy Ex-Girlfriend melds rom-com clichés and hashtag feminism into a twisted modern fairytale, with Rebecca Bunch embodying the both damsel-in-distress and evil witch (think: sex-positive Disney princess who sometimes veers into bunny boiling territory). With an ever-melodic cast of charismatic character actors and a songbook fit for Broadway, the musical numbers aren’t just made-for-TV plot points, but thought-provoking and catchy performances that can hold their own against any pop anthem.
1. Season One Theme Song
"I was... working hard at a New York job, making dough but it made me blue. One day I was crying a lot and so I decided to move..."
The season one theme song captures the whimsy of Rebecca’s inner life alongside her nagging subconscious and ingrained sexist criticisms (courtesy of a cast of back-up singers who taunt her by calling her a “crazy ex-girlfriend”).
See the original post on Youtube
4. "A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes"
Season one" "I Hope Josh Comes to My Party!"
"We’ll get you through those developmental stages, that you’ve been stuck in for ages."
Dealing with her first love is, surprise surprise, bringing up some regressive feelings (and behavior) for Rebecca. In her mind, Josh is every teen dream archetype (the shy one, the bad boy, the dimple-faced cutie pie, the buff hottie) rolled into one pin-up package.
Along with the usual romantic platitudes (“Hey girl, I know things always haven’t been easy for you”) are some pretty spot-on psychological observations (“We’ll help you understand the reason why you’re sad”) – it’s like therapy with frosted tips.
See the original post on Youtube
5. "Settle For Me"
Season one: "I'm Going on a Date with Josh's Friend!"
"If he's your broken condom, I'm Plan B! So lower those expectations and settle for me"
A classic song for a classic love story: woman moves across the country to reunite with a camp crush she hasn’t seen in 10 years and proceeds to insert herself in his life while nurturing an increasingly flirtatious relationship with his best friend. To get out of the Friendzone, said best friend Greg pleads his case with a jazzy performance on a 1920s art deco stage, which leaves Rebecca more confused than ever.
See the original post on Youtube
7. "(I Give) Good Parent"
Season one: "My First Thanksgiving with Josh!"
"Your home's such a beautiful, comfortable space! Bitches, you two have wonderful taste"
What happens when Rebecca channels Cardi B-style flows to meet her fantasy in-laws? Magic, basically. Rebecca throws down her best kiss-ass compliments to ingratiate herself to Josh's family at Thanksgiving dinner, while her romantic rival Valencia seethes in a corner. While spitting fierce rhymes about his mom’s cooking and his father’s vocation, she also manages to drop a reference to her Ivy League education and... backdoor oral.
See the original post on Youtube
8. "Where's the Bathroom?"
Season one: "My Mom, Greg’s Mom and Josh’s Sweet Dance Moves!"
"I don't know which was bumpier, the plane ride or the taxi. All these freeways are a nightmare; where's my purse? I need my comb!"
Scene: Rebecca’s mom storms into West Covina like a passive-aggressive hurricane. And her first order of maternal duty is demanding directions to the bathroom while blasting Rebecca with a torrent of motherly observations. In the few minutes it takes her to find it, Ms. Bunch insults Rebecca’s “hovel,” laments her daughter’s wasted Ivy League education, and comments on her face (could use some make-up) and weight (a little chubby).
While the elder Bunch is a full-on mommy dearest in Eileen Fisher separates, it’s impossible not to be swept up in her manic energy and marvel at her gold medal nagging. Would it kill Rebecca to get a few scented soaps for the power room?!
See the original post on Youtube
9. "Put Yourself First"
Season one: "I'm Back at Camp with Josh!"
"Push them boobs up, just for yourself. Wear six-inch heels, just for yourself."
A high-energy deconstruction of “girl power” pop songs that actually cater to men (note the Terry Richardson-look alike wearing a male gaze shirt), the song implores women to wear 6-inch heels and get a lower back tattoo for their hot independence – and to hopefully grab the attention of the nearest dude. Rebecca questions the logic of how putting oneself first to land a man is self-empowerment, but a handy youthful girlband rolls over her concerns with a sick harmony (and terrible advice).
See the original post on Youtube
10. "You Stupid Bitch"
Season one: "That Text Was Not Meant for Josh!"
"He sees me for what I am, which is a horrible, stupid, dumb and ugly, fat and stupid."
After a series of mortifying missteps, Rebecca takes on the persona of a Broadway diva – all class and control. She steps into the spotlight in a sparkly gown and takes aim at herself with an achingly self-loathing ballad that tears apart her character. Rebecca’s contempt (for herself) is so deep that she even has the adoring crowd sing along with the insults.
See the original post on Youtube
11. "JAP Battle"
Season one: "Josh and I Go to Los Angeles!"
"Come on, let's do this! Your little pals can witness how vicious this Westchester alpha bitch is"
When Rebecca faces off with her childhood rival Audra Levine at work, it makes 8 Mile look like Sesame Street. No topic is off-limits, from Rebecca’s weight to Audra’s fiancé’s… shortcomings. Because of the deep, competitive history and seething animosity between them, even perfect GPAs and a list of New York state’s most affluent suburbs sound cruel.
See the original post on Youtube
16. "Greg's Drinking Song"
Season two: "When Will Josh See How Cool I Am?"
"Yes, wine can be fun—white, rosé and red, 'til I call up my boss to say I wish he was dead. Chase down the regret with some gin for good luck, then steal my cousin Jim's landscaping truck."
Need a pre-game song that will get you in the mood for a party but also... good decisions? Greg’s Irish-tinged ditty is laundry list of regrettable drinking behavior (being banned from an airplane, puking on his cat) that is — much like Greg — both incredibly clever and a touch worrisome.
See the original post on Youtube
17. "We Tapped That Ass"
Season two: "When Will Josh and His Friend Leave Me Alone?"
"Sometimes him, sometimes me, though never simultaneously. But one of us was hittin' it, usually."
While Rebecca’s love triangle with the object of her obsession and that sexy-but-damaged bartender may sound like fun, it takes a turn when Josh and Greg show up to tap dance their way through Rebecca’s sexual history. Besides the seriously impressive dancing, the boys manage to slot in more sexual innuendo than usual, even by this show’s high standards. It’s like "Singin’ in the Rain," but with more orgasms.
See the original post on Youtube
18. "It Was a Shit Show"
Season two: "When Will Josh and His Friends Leave Me Alone?"
"We have chemistry of course, but that’s a formula for divorce."
Greg and Rebecca had the kind of love that people write about… in true crime novels. While they could match wits (no small thing in the doldrums of West Covina) and had real chemistry, they also enabled one another’s worst habits (his drinking, her co-dependence) and used sex as a proxy for the intimacy they both desperately craved.
Greg is the one who finally wises up to their toxic ways, and not even Rebecca’s last-ditch effort at the airport (straight out of a rom-com) could convince him to stay. Instead, he croons a goodbye song that captures their ill-fated unhappy ending.
See the original post on Youtube
19. "Friendtopia"
Season two: "Who Needs Josh When You Have a Girl Group?"
"With the power of our gossip giggles, we'll storm the Pentagon! Then celebrate with bottomless mimosas on the White House lawn."
What happens when the squad plots a murderous coup? Playing off of stereotypical bestie roles (the cool one, the hot one), this dystopian answer to the Spice Girls is more interested in overthrowing the government than getting over a breakup. The song melds parody (shout-out to the basic AF mentions of rosé and Hocus Pocus) with references to 1984 and mind control. And the “squad goals” hook is pretty catchy.
See the original post on Youtube
20. "Research Me Obsessively" (Performed by guest star Brittany Snow)
Season two: "Who is the Cool Girl Josh is Dating?"
"Hey, what are you doing for the next, like, thirteen hours? Don't do anything healthy, don't be productive. Give in to your desire..."
Turning social media creeping into a come-hither R&B jam, Brittany Snow (playing Josh's other ex) coaxes Rebecca and Valencia to the dot-com dark side. A perfect snapshot of the agony and ecstasy of creating fake profiles and falling down a rabbit hole of likes, the detail and depth of their “research” is uncomfortably familiar to anyone who still likes to creep their ex’s ex.
See the original post on Youtube
21. "So Maternal" (feat. Jamie Denbo)
Season two: "Who is Josh's Soup Fairy?"
"Step aside ladies, give your babies to a Carol Brady-level matriarch."
After spending an afternoon babysitting for her co-worker Paula’s two boys, Rebecca is feeling the smug glow of proxy motherhood. Channelling Bruno Mars in "Uptown Funk," she bops her way down the street bragging about her maternal accomplishments, intercut with her soothing voice on a mommy podcast. Yes it’s a weird mash-up, but it works
See the original post on Youtube
22. "We'll Never Have Problems Again"
Season two: "Will Scarsdale Like Josh's Shayna Punim?"
"Never worry about paying the bills, the only money we need is sunset!"
In the heady new days of a relationship (i.e. after the first rush of sex but before the first fight), new couples are totes insufferable. In Josh and Rebecca’s utopian world, there’s no squabbling over dinner plans or chore lists taped to the fridge. That innocence is captured in this 70s-style Soul Train ode to their blissful forever. (Disco lasted forever too, right?)
See the original post on Youtube
23. "Let's Have Intercourse"
Season two: "Josh Is the Man of My Dreams, Right?"
"Unfortunately, I want to have sex with you. I don't know what happened, maybe you lost some weight."
Rebecca’s boss Nathaniel is hot in that arrogant, square-jawed, rich guy way, but his seduction song could use some work? It’s like Ed Sheeran’s "Thinking Out Loud," except instead of a lifelong declaration of love, it’s a blasé request to see Rebecca’s nipples so he can get on with his day.
See the original post on Youtube
25. "Let’s Generalize About Men"
Season three: "Josh's Ex-Girlfriend Wants Revenge"
All men are stupid and childish, even the ones who are smart and mature. All men do each and every day is watch porn, eat wings, burp, fart, and snore."
A misandrist's worst nightmare (or dream come true?), Rebecca, Paula, Valencia and Heather put on their monochromatic power suits to criticize the bane of their existence – immature, selfish and sex-obsessed men. Their sweeping generalizations are set to an 80s beat (and wardrobe – check out the triangle earrings, black pantyhose and monochromatic eye shadow) but with #notallmen as a source of social media mockery, the song feels delightfully prescient.
See the original post on Youtube
26. "Strip Away My Conscience"
Season three, "To Josh, With Love"
"You're a soul-sucking, corporate piece of trash, who only cares about sex, lies and cash. So tell me 'bout your sins and shock me with their luridness."
Seeking revenge on Josh Chan, Rebecca turns to Nathaniel, a man she sees as soulless. In convincing him to help her be “bad,” she creates a Chicago-style dance number with even a hint of 50 Shades apparent. In her attempt to break bad, she offers a fair amount of sexual innuendo and a lot of jazz hands.
See the original post on Youtube
27. "The End of The Movie" (sung by Josh Groban)
Season three: "Josh's Ex-Girlfriend is Crazy"
"Because life is a gradual series of revelations, that occur over a period of time. It’s not some carefully crafted story, it’s a mess, and we’re all gonna die."
True to the show’s complexity, there is no “happily ever after” for Rebecca. After making a colossal and pretty gross mistake, she listlessly walks through the streets of West Covina trailed by Josh Groban, who belts out a song about the messiness of life versus the narrative simplicity of film plots. As the various characters reckon with their future in a sad montage, Josh’s nihilistic stream-of consciousness is a depressing departure from Rebecca’s fantastical inner life. (Bae can sing, tho.) (Josh Groban, yay!)
See the original post on Youtube
29. "First Penis I Saw"
Season three":"Getting Over Jeff"
A few times before, I'd felt it through his pants and just generally kinda rubbed it. But that night I decided to take a chance — I took it out, and he really seemed to love it."
After spotting her “first everything” in the grocery store, Paula takes an ABBA-inspired walk down memory lane, specifically in regards to the first penis she ever saw. The choreo includes an eggplant microphone, because sometimes emojis come to life.
See the original post on Youtube
30. "Lady Boss" (Bonus Track: Rebecca Bunch for Vanity Fair)
Not technically part of the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend canon, think of Ladyboss like a necessary B-side. Fronting like a #girlboss while stifled by self-doubt and the complications of the modern workplace, Rachel Bloom subverts the clichés that pass for advice doled out to young women on the regular.
In this career-minded anthem, jealous co-workers, an attempted mansplainer, a Ruth Bader Ginsberg pillow and the unanswerable questions of modern womanhood (how much boob is too much boob?) go way beyond hashtag platitudes
See the original post on Youtube
You Might Also Like
Solve the daily Crossword
