The Most Ridiculous Reasons A Character Dumped Someone On Seinfeld
It is actually quite fitting how, in a show about nothing, the characters on Seinfeld were known to break up with their significant others for, practically, next to nothing. In just about every other instance, the situation that led to a relationship’s demise was so absurd, it’s a wonder that any of the four main characters from Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David’s iconic sitcom managed to have a love life at all. Well, we reviewed some of the Seinfeld episodes and came up with this collection of our favorite examples of why the characters got dumped, dumped someone, or yada, yada, yada.
In “The Pie,” Jerry (Seinfeld) offers his girlfriend Audrey (Suzanne Snyder) a slice of the titular dessert from Monk’s that she refuses to try without explanation. And it's a strange moment he obsesses over. What really brings the relationship to an end, though, is when Jerry refuses to try pizza by Audrey’s father, Poppy (Rene Santoni), after he caught him leaving the bathroom without washing his hands. However, Audrey’s reason to refuse the pie is never revealed, and this fan still obsesses over it to this day.
After Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) gives back a cashmere sweater he bought her for cheap, due to its red dot, George (Jason Alexander) tries to give it to the cleaning woman at Pendant Publishing, Evie (Bridget Sienna), whom he started seeing after getting a job there. Despite initially jumping for joy over the cashmere — and telling a harrowing childhood story to support her reaction — she ends the fling and gets George fired after discovering the red dot.
Jerry’s relationship with Tia — a model, played by Jennifer Campbell, that he met on an airplane — is going well. That is, until after stopping next to him at a stoplight, she assumes she catches him picking his nose when he was really scratching it. The incident later inspires George to have Susan Ross (Heidi Swedberg) intentionally catch him in the act of a real pick after regretting their reunion… for now.
When Elaine manages to find a case of her preferred preventative product — a sponge — after learning it has been discontinued, she opts to be more selective about who she uses with. After deciding her current boyfriend, Billy (Gilmore Girls cast member Scott Patterson), is “sponge-worthy,” she ultimately realizes she “can’t afford two of them” on him.
Jerry decides to end his relationship with Sidra (Desperate Housewives cast member, Teri Hatcher) after Elaine convinces him she has had some work done. That is, until an incident in a gym sauna confirms she was wrong, leading Jerry to successfully ask to mend things. But when Sidra learns he and Elaine are friends, she assumes the sauna incident was a deliberate test of her “authenticity,” leading her to walk her “real” and “spectacular” self out of his life.
Kramer (Michael Richards) finds the back-itching remedy he needs in Olive (Sunday Theodore) — a cashier at Monk’s with shockingly long fingernails. However, when his itch is cured and he realizes that was the basis of their relationship, he tries to convince her that he is in a relationship with another woman: a mannequin resembling Elaine.
In Seinfeld’s Season 7 opener, “The Engagement,” George and Jerry actually discuss the “stupid little reasons” they have dumped women over, leading Jerry to give Melanie (Athena Massey) another shot. However, because he can’t stand her preference to eat only one pea per bite at dinner, he unwittingly rescinds his “pact” with George, who is now getting married to Susan.
We would call David Puddy (Patrick Warburton) Elaine’s longest-standing boyfriend on Seinfeld if not for how frequently they would call it quits for his face-painting at hockey games, their differing religious beliefs and more. There's even a whole subplot in Season 9’s “The Butter Shave” that sees them break up multiple times over the course of a single transatlantic flight for increasingly uproarious reasons.
George temporarily ruins the marriage of Beth (played by Will & Grace cast member Debra Messing) and David (The Princess Bride’s Cary Elwes) after saying she “could have done a lot better,” causing her to give the joke real, though. David later uses the remark on Susan, which has George convinced she might be considering backing out of their impending nuptials, only to learn her concern was over her meal for the reception.
At the beginning Seinfeld’s Season 7 finale, “The Invitations,” Jerry thinks he may have found the one in Jeannie Steinman (Janeane Garofalo) because of just how similar in personality they are. However, by the end of the episode, he realizes he could never be with someone like him — a feeling that is revealed to be mutual at the beginning of the next season.
In the iconic “Puffy Shirt” episode, Jerry admits during an interview on Today that he hates wearing the titular garment that he unwittingly agreed to wear by the request of Kramer’s “low talker” girlfriend, Leslie (Wendel Meldrum). After the comment ruins her business and her life, that’s when Kramer bails.
In addition to accidentally causing a piece of candy to fall in a surgery patient’s body, Jerry’s predicament in “The Junior Mint” is never discovering what his girlfriend (played by Susan Walters) is named. His only clue is that it “rhymes with a part of the female anatomy.” It is not until after she leaves in disgust when he realizes it’s “Delores,” which is confirmed when they reunite in Season 8’s “The Foundation.”
In “The Big Salad,” George is happy to buy Elaine the eponymous meal for lunch, but outraged when she thanks his girlfriend, Julie (Michelle Forbes), after she hands her the salad and not him. When Julie catches wind of this obsession, he can’t help but ask how she could “claim responsibility for that salad and accept the thank-you under false pretenses,” only for him to realize his error when she assures she “only handed someone a bag.”
Elaine sets up Jerry with her friend, Gillian (Kristin Bauer), who would be perfect for him if she did not have the “hands of a man.” Jerry does, reluctantly, stay with her for a bit, but the fling ends when she injures his wrist when she catches him rifling through her purse, looking for a picture of her for George to use.
When Kramer points out that George’s new girlfriend, Janet (Tracy Nelson), bares a striking resemblance to Jerry — which she even agrees to — it becomes all George can think about. He even begins to fear his initial admiration of her is rooted in some deep-seated infatuation with Jerry, which reaches a relationship-ending peak when a gum accident forces Janet to cut her hair shorter.
One of the biggest celebrities you may have forgotten were on Seinfeld is Bob Odenkirk, who appears in “The Abstinence” as a man one passing grade away from fulfilling Elaine’s dream of dating a doctor. Little does she know that the future Breaking Bad cast member’s character, Ben, had his own dream of dumping his current girlfriend for someone better once he became a doctor.
Emmy-winning White Lotus cast member Jennifer Coolidge made her acting debut on the NBC sitcom as a Season 5 episode’s titular masseuse, whose reluctance to work her magic on her boyfriend, Jerry, drives him nuts. In one of the series’ sharpest bits of social commentary, she stands her ground and refuses to indulge when Jerry tries to force her into performing the massage.
A classic Newman moment on Seinfeld occurs when the mailman (played by Wayne Knight) reveals he dated and dumped Jerry’s current girlfriend, Margaret (Marita Geraghty). Jerry soon becomes obsessed over understanding why his nemesis chose to end things with her, ultimately making it impossible for him to even kiss her.
Fearing he will look like an idiot after agreeing to take an IQ test for his girlfriend, Monica’s (Dawn Arnemann), education class, George enlists self-proclaimed genius, Elaine, to take it for him. A series of incidents, such as food stains on the test — courtesy of Brian George as Pakistani cafe owner, Babu Bhatt — lead Monica to discover that George attempted to cheat.
Elaine ends up being the indirect cause of many issues for her friend Noreen (Kelly Coffield Park), including ruining her relationship with her high-talker boyfriend, Dan (Brian Reddy). The fate of that relationship is sealed when Elaine mistakes Dan for Noreen over the phone multiple times.
Fearing Jerry will leave him upstaged with his new girlfriend, Cheryl (Maggie Han), George asks the comedian to downplay his sense of humor in her presence. He takes the façade so far that she becomes attracted by his dark aura.
Elaine's cousin, Holly (Stacey Travis), is not impressed with the comedian's preference for salad over meat. He attempts a recourse by spitting her mutton into her Grandma Memma's napkins, which get taken away with Elaine when she borrows his coat. Elaine's boyfriend then finds them and uses them as bandanas for his dogs, which a horrified Holly discovers.
"It's not you, it's me..."
It is actually quite fitting how, in a show about nothing, the characters on Seinfeld were known to break up with their significant others for, practically, next to nothing. In just about every other instance, the situation that led to a relationship’s demise was so absurd, it’s a wonder that any of the four main characters from Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David’s iconic sitcom managed to have a love life at all. Well, we reviewed some of the Seinfeld episodes and came up with this collection of our favorite examples of why the characters got dumped, dumped someone, or yada, yada, yada.
Seinfeld characters dumped people for some incredibly ridiculous reasons.
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