Bachelor in Paradise recap: The beard is back
This week, Bachelor in Paradise attempted to lower its carbon footprint by recycling a contestant — and while the beach didn't go green, it did go nuts.
Let's recap!
The big question heading into this episode is all about Victoria: Will she pick Johnny or Alex? "Tonight is going to be really hard for me," she admits. That's right, rose lovers — we're finally, finally, finally getting a rose ceremony! Oddly enough, none of the contestants know who will be handing out said roses. I suppose it was never made clear to them after Split Week? Somebody get Jesse Palmer in here, because we need answers!
ABC Jesse Palmer has some news.
Confession time: When Palmer informed the Paradisians that Sarah had a family emergency and decided to leave Mexico, I could not remember who Sarah was. Like, I literally had to google "Sarah Bachelor in Paradise 2022." Should I start taking ginkgo biloba, or did she just not make much of an impression? Anyhow, all the best to the Hamrick family.
Now for the most important news: The women are handing out the roses. Shanae is psyched, and she has a special message for Logan and Kate.
ABC Tell us how you really feel, Shanae.
As the cocktail party gets underway, things are tense between Johnny and Alex, as well as between what Aaron calls "the old girls and the new girls." Florence, for one, is annoyed because someone moved her stuff around in the women's sleeping quarters, and she assumes it was the original women. "Everything was touched, everything was gross," she complains. Jessina informs us that the women are "messy," at which point the camera cuts to Serene chomping loudly on a chip and wiping her nose. (Rude!)
Wells is happy to stir the pot. "The people who work here at the resort said that the women's room is the dirtiest they've ever seen it," he tells Jessenia. "What is happening up there?" She grouses that ever since the original women got back, there have been ants in the shower. Genevieve, however, blames the filth on the "new people," as does Victoria. "They're the dirty bitches," she says. "Not us."
We may never know the truth, rose lovers. All we know for sure is that Jacob would be happy to get a rose from any woman on the beach, whether she's a slob or not. He and Shanae bond over their dedication to oral hygiene (Jacob even carries a floss stick with him everywhere he goes), and it leads to this:
ABC Romance.
I'll be honest, I did not know charcoal toothpaste was a thing. After they've each scrubbed each other's enamel, Shanae and Jacob share a slightly awkward kiss. "I know where my rose is going tonight," she announces.
The same cannot be said for Victoria, who is currently having a "wine moment" with Alex on the daybed. "You're just so kind," she says. "Everything about you is amazing. Truly." From there she heads to another daybed for a wine moment with Johnny. "My week was hell," he says. "When I saw you, it affirmed everything and how much I missed you." Johnny goes on to say that he wants to take her to the end, and Victoria LOVES it. She nestles her head into his chest, and they share a smooch.
Tink tink tink! Here comes Palmer with his Butter Knife of Bad News! It's time for Victoria to make a decision. Will she go against her usual type and choose Johnny, or will she play it safe and pick the "great on paper" Alex? Let's find out. Rose ceremony roll call!
Serene to Brandon
Danielle to Michael
Eliza to Rodney
Genevieve to Aaron
Jessenia to Andrew
Brittany to Tyler
Kate to Logan
Shanae to Jacob
Victoria to… Johnny!
Florence to Alex
Yep, producers no doubt urged Florence to give her rose to Alex so he could hang around on the beach and make Johnny nervous. Alas, this means we must say goodbye to Thor, which is just a monumental waste.
ABC Seriously? No one wants to give this guy a rose?
Fare thee well, Adam! You deserved so much better than this. Go back to Australia where all the condiments you desire await.
The next morning, all the couples are happily canoodling in the sunshine, enjoying a brief moment of calm. And the smiles continue when Victoria gets a date card and chooses Johnny to accompany her. And what a date it is! Please welcome Raul!
ABC Hola, Raul.
Raul greets the couple in front of a sweat lodge, and says he's going to help them "release" all the obstacles that may be hindering their relationship. He asks Victoria and Johnny to state their intentions for the day, and while she has no trouble (fresh start, new beginnings, etc.), Johnny flushes beet red and can barely spit out a complete sentence when it's his turn to talk. "Yeah, so, today… new beginnings for sure," he mumbles. Victoria isn't mad at him for being nervous, given that she almost kicked him to the curb for someone else.
Once inside the sweat lodge, Raul encourages Victoria and Johnny to share their fears with each other. She's afraid of being let down, while he's afraid of not being enough for her. She's afraid he's going to leave her, and he's afraid that he won't be able to Open Up? to her. With that, Raul puts some burning hot coals in the firepit to release a cleansing steam. Wait, who's that guy shutting the sweat lodge door? Does it lock from the outside? This is stressing me out!
Oh, phew — the next time we see Victoria and Johnny, they're back outside and not passed out from heat exhaustion inside the lodge. The whole experience seems to have brought them closer, even though Johnny still isn't ready at this very second to get married, have kids, and become a card-carrying Costco shopper. "I feel like I am falling in love with you," he says. And wouldn't you know it? The sentiment is mutual!
ABC Victoria and Johnny
Great work, Raul!
Back at the beach, everyone is feeling great and thinking about their post-Paradise future. "I'm not really too concerned about who comes down those steps," says Rodney. Dang it, buddy — now you've gone and jinxed it. Look who's here:
ABC Don't call it a comeback.
Dude, has Justin just been holed up at the airport Hilton this whole time? Either way, he's back in Paradise and he's got one woman on his mind: Eliza. "From what I've seen from her and what I've heard about her, they're all characteristics that I look for in somebody," he explains. Yeah, that does not sound specific at all. I'm guessing Justin let producers keep him on ice until they needed someone to churn up a little drama. What a good Bachelor Nation soldier.
When Justin arrives on the beach, all the guys rush to welcome him. "I am super excited but also confused," says Andrew. Genevieve, meanwhile, is flat-out pissed. "He got sent home," she huffs. "Why is he back?" To steal Eliza, of course! And that's precisely what he does. Justin pulls Eliza for a chat, leaving Rodney to fret from afar. "Don't worry, his personality is [bleep]," she assures him.
But Aaron thinks his girlfriend doth protest too much. "Justin and Genevieve had a connection," he says. "I really like her, but she talks about Justin a lot, and she talks about how he f---ed up a lot. It makes me feel like I was option 2, and he was option 1." At the bar, Aaron starts to explain to Alex how Justin dated Genevieve before Aaron arrived, but Genevieve interrupts. "There's stuff in between," she says. "Victoria came in, and then we argued for three days, and then Aaron came in."
As the conversation continues, Aaron grabs his glass and walks away from the bar. Seeing this, Genevieve abruptly stops answering Wells' questions and begins to spiral. "Oh no, what the f--- did I do?" she whispers to herself. Wells is completely confused.
ABC Excellent question, Wells.
"He's mad!" Genevieve says. "He didn't even look at me." She chases Aaron up the stairs to the kitchen and begs him to tell her what she did wrong. (Side note: The level of panic this poor woman is experiencing because she thinks the guy she's dated for six days might be mad at her makes me very, very sad. I mean, we've all been there — but I hope that when Genevieve watches this back she'll take a moment to consider that her worth is not dependent upon a man's approval. End of side note.)
Aaron calmly explains why he was irritated. "I was explaining to Wells what happened… and you interrupted me and said, 'No, Justin went on a date with Victoria,'" he says. "It makes it sound like it's not my success that brought me and you together — it's Justin's failing… I want it to be because you like me, not because Justin was a dick." Yes, Aaron! Articulate your emotional needs! We stan a self-aware king.
Genevieve is so beside herself that she's having a hard time really listening to what Aaron is saying. She's so worried about him being irritated that she's not able to grasp that this isn't a major deal. Aaron just wants her to know that the way she spoke about Justin triggered his insecurities, though he seems aware that it was not her intention. "I'm truly sorry," says Genevieve. Aaron accepts her apology, but she is inconsolable.
ABC Aaron and Genevieve
"We're fine!" he assures her, wrapping her in a hug. "The steps are all completed, we're good! If you understand where I'm coming from, that's it. Sorry I overreacted." No, don't apologize, Aaron! You were just communicating your feelings! For God's sake, Genevieve, get it together!
Let's turn our attention to Rodney and Eliza. Now that Justin has officially asked her on the date, Eliza wants to talk to Rodney about the whole situation. "I want him to say, 'You're mine. Don't go,'" she says. "That's what I want him to tell me." Instead, Rodney tells her that he's here for her, and he doesn't want her to feel any pressure either way. If she wants to go, that's fine. "I'm not going anywhere," he says.
This perfectly reasonable and accommodating response does not sit well with Eliza. "You want me to go?" she asks incredulously. Rodney tries to clarify, saying that while he's not psyched to see her go on a date, it could help confirm their feelings for each other — or make it clear that they aren't the best match. Finally, Eliza spells it out for Rodney: "I kind of want you to tell me you don't want me to go." He's all, "I don't want you to go! But that might be what's best for you to truly gain clarity."
Hmmm… Whose side are you on, rose lovers? Yes, I get that Eliza needs some validation from Rodney, but on the other hand he may be worried that he'll push her away if he tries to keep her from going on a date. They've been "together" for, what, four days? He's trying not to be presumptuous. But all Eliza hears is, Eh, go ahead. I'm not that into you anyway. "If that's how you really feel, that you're okay with me pursuing a different person, then you don't feel that strongly about me, I don't think," says Eliza, tearing up. "Now I feel stupid."
ABC There, there, Eliza.
Oh girl, hang in there. Someday you'll be a boring old married lady and it will be awesome. (Take it from me, a boring old married lady.)
With that, Eliza heads out on the date with Justin while Sad Rodney walks the beach, feeling all the melancholy feelings. Elsewhere on the beach, Aaron and Genevieve are revisiting their conversation from earlier. "I want to make you feel special, and I was really just trying to feel like I was special to you, or you understood me," says Aaron. Oh no, he's tearing up!
ABC Awwww, poor Aaron.
I can't take Sad Aaron! This time it's Genevieve who administers a hug. Aaron allows it for a few seconds and then declares that he's fine, though he's still wiping away tears. "You are so special to me for so many reasons," Genevieve says. "The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you." It's an emotional conversation, but it ends on a happy note, with several smooches.
As Rodney mopes around the beach, Eliza and Justin sit down for dinner at the nearby resort. She kicks things off by complaining to Justin about how Rodney didn't try to stop her from going out with him. In other words, buddy, she's here out of spite. Still, Justin and Eliza bond over being "people pleasers" who are now working on putting themselves first. It's all going swimmingly until…
ABC Yikes.
"Yo, is it still there?" cries Justin. Eliza teases him for freaking out. "So, I'm assuming you won't be the guy to kill the spiders?" she asks. "No, I will," he replies. "I'll just be dramatic about it." Ha! Fair enough, bro.
His frantic reaction to the bug aside, Eliza is clearly a little smitten with Justin and thinks he might be a "better fit" for her than Rodney. They share a kiss during the fireworks display, in part because they like each other and in part because they both know it'll make good TV.
ABC Justin and Eliza
"If she comes back tonight and it's Justin for her, that'll definitely break my heart," Rodney says. "I'll really do anything for her."
Hold that thought, sir, because tonight's episode is over. A few questions before you go, rose lovers: Are you happy to see Justin again? Did Rodney screw up, or did Eliza overreact? And would you rather do an interview next to a spider or a crab? Post your thoughts below!
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