Fantasia Barrino on her emotional journey back to 'Color Purple': 'I'm not the same woman'

Last month, Fantasia Barrino took her family to see “The Color Purple” at a home-state screening in Charlotte, North Carolina.

It was a bittersweet moment for the Golden Globe-nominated actress, who dropped out of high school at 14 and became a single mom three years later. Unable to find a job and living on welfare, she auditioned for the Fox singing competition “American Idol,” winning the show’s third season when she was 19.

Watching the movie with eldest daughter Zion, now 22, “I remember squeezing her hand and saying, ‘You remember that Mommy has always told you that I did everything for you,’ “ Barrino recalls. “She looked at me and said, ‘I know, Mommy, and I’m so proud of you.’ And we just cried. We were in the trenches together; it was just me and her. I was a child, and I didn’t know what I was doing. But I knew that I was going to take care of her and show her something different.”

Fantasia Barrino initially turned down Celie in 'The Color Purple' movie

When Barrino, 39, calls to chat about “The Color Purple” last month, it’s just three days after the movie musical scored the highest Christmas Day opening in over a decade.

“All my castmates were texting me, like: ‘Did you see? Did you see?’ I’m so caught up over here in mommy mode,” says Barrino, finding a rare “quiet” moment in a full house that includes husband Kendall Taylor, kids Dallas (12) and Keziah (2), and dogs Lola and Coco Chanel.

For her, the film’s box-office and awards success feel like answered prayers. She remembers crying in her car sometimes after all-night shoots, feeling exhausted and asking God that it wouldn’t be in vain.

“I would say, ‘Please allow people to be blessed through this movie, because that’s the only reason why I did it,’ “ Barrino says. “I knew that each character would touch someone, and somebody could relate.”

This new big-screen “Color Purple” is the latest in a string of adaptations of Alice Walker’s 1982 novel, which include a 2005 Broadway musical and Steven Spielberg’s 1985 film. The story follows a young woman named Celie (Barrino) in the early 1900s South as she learns to stand up to her abusive husband, Mister (Colman Domingo), and stake out her independence.

The subject matter resonated deeply with Barrino, herself a survivor of rape and domestic violence. She first played the role of Celie on Broadway in 2007, but she was not prepared for the emotional toll of being called “ugly” eight performances a week and acting out abuse onstage.

“I didn’t know how to get out of character,” Barrino says. So more than a decade later, when director Blitz Bazawule approached her about starring in the new film version, she initially said no.

"I was very understanding of why she was hesitant,” Bazawule says. “When she did the role on Broadway, there weren't a lot of guardrails for her. There was unresolved trauma that came up and she was deeply unhappy.”

Back on 'American Idol,' Barrino just 'wanted people to see me'

What changed Barrino's mind was the movie's use of magical realism, with vibrant fantasy sequences showing how Celie escapes into her mind as a survival mechanism.

“When Blitz came to me and was like, ‘I'm giving her imagination,’ I was all in because I am a dreamer,” Barrino says. Growing up, "my grandmother used to tell me, 'Write the vision and make it plain.' So if you came to my house, you would see I have three vision boards,” devoted to her children, lifestyle brand and wine venture.

The Grammy winner has always believed in herself when others didn't. While she was on “Idol” in 2004, the show’s producers would tell her she was “losing votes” by sharing her life story. “They would come to me and say, ‘Hey, maybe don’t speak so much about your daughter,’ because I was young,” Barrino recalls. “I wasn’t quite giving off the ‘Idol’ vibe.”

Frustrated, she decided to make a statement with her midseason performance of “Summertime” from “Porgy and Bess,” seated barefoot on the edge of the stage, showing off the raw emotional power of her voice.

“I wanted people to see me,” Barrino says, holding back tears. “Yes, I had a child at a young age. Yes, I dropped out of school. I’m here with my gift and my future looks bright – maybe you can’t see it, but I can.”

“Summertime” was a turning point for Barrino in the competition, which also included standout vocalists Jennifer Hudson and LaToya London. (Coincidentally, both women also went on to star in "Color Purple" stage productions.)

"We would all sing together, pray together, laugh and cry together," Barrino says. "Everybody on 'Idol' with us was destined for nothing but greatness."

Barrino is 'so glad that I did not allow fear to hold me back'

Fifteen years on from the Broadway show, Barrino is grateful that she chose to revisit "Color Purple." This time, she felt like she understood Celie better: the character's beauty, joy, brilliance and strength.

“I’m so glad I did not allow fear to hold me back,” Barrino says. “I’m not the same woman, so experiencing her this time was totally different. I surrendered everything over to her because she deserved a new take."

Nominated at the Screen Actors Guild Awards as part of the film's ensemble, Barrino has caught the "acting bug" and is ready to pursue more projects.

“I would love to challenge myself to do something totally different that no one would expect,” she says. “I’m putting it out there: writing the vision, and I will make it plain.”

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Fantasia Barrino reflects on 'The Color Purple' movie, 'American Idol'