'The Golden Bachelor' Episode 3 recap: The fight for Gerry Turner's roses is on. Who lost?
The drama burned so hot in the Bachelor Mansion that it's a small miracle Gerry Turner didn't pull the fire alarm during Thursday's third episode of "The Golden Bachelor."
Former "Bachelorette" Kaitlyn Bristowe stopped by to co-host a wild talent show that served as a group date, one contestant sizzled during a romantic dinner with the smitten Gerry, only to tearfully go home later for personal reasons, and two contestants exited after failing to receive roses from Gerry in a tense ceremony.
But all of that is ho-hum compared to the Bravo-esque intrigue that blew up in the household of female contestants who had been remarkably cordial through the first two episodes.
It's so on. Here's what happened.
Joan's poem was mightier than Leslie's lap dance in the talent show
With a Gerry solo-date prize on the line, the talent show brought some wild moments, including Leslie's provocative musical frolic that turned into a Gerry lap dance. This is, after all, the woman who claims Prince was her onetime beau, who wrote "Sexy Dancer" after he was inspired by her moves.
"She got a little dirty there, a little sexy there at the end," a mostly admiring Susan said in a redundant debriefing to the camera.
But the tense Joan, who nervously claimed she didn't have any talent, killed it reading her poem about meeting Gerry, titled "I Just Hope I Don't Vomit on Your Shoes." The simple verse got big laughs but also touched Gerry, who welled up for the episode's first tears. He picked Joan as the talent-show winner.
The two connected on their dinner date, which ended with Gerry giving Joan a rose, and a deep kiss.
And yet the budding passion was all for naught, as Joan tearfully exited "The Golden Bachelor" the next day. Joan received news that her daughter, who underwent a difficult C-section birth, required her mother's love and intervention in the real world. Weeping Gerry was devastated for, like, 30 seconds of TV time after Joan broke the news. Then it was time to move on.
Ellen stepped in to soar on her hot air balloon date
Ellen was chosen for a dream date, with her choice of fancy frocks complemented by Champagne, and Gerry gifted her Neil Lane earrings he most surely didn't buy. They soared in a hot air balloon, and Gerry presented her with a rose before busting another signature move.
"Have you ever been kissed at 100 feet?" he asked before the big balloon sunset smooch. She has now! Joan who? The circle of "Golden Bachelor" life.
Kathy stirred the pot until it boiled over; Theresa got burned
Enter Kathy, who has shown previous potential to shake things up as the once collegial season's much-needed vampishly controversial character. That promise finally became reality after Kathy conjured up a show-shaking feud with onetime confidante Theresa. Yes, Theresa. The Nice One.
Kathy was set off by Theresa's allegedly overly boastful talk about her deep connection to Gerry after last week's solo date. Actual discussion video footage suggests that Theresa was just baring her heart to a friend.
But Kathy was off, dissing Theresa behind her back, then taking more imagined offense before the women met Gerry wearing their evening gowns. It was a true reality show "Dynasty" moment.
"Theresa, you can tell that her eyes are saying, 'Yeah, you don't have a chance,'" Kathy fumed in a camera confession. "I don't like it."
Poor old Gerry was oblivious to the mansion intrigue, falling for Kathy's tears during a one-on-one meeting during which she subtly tried to throw Theresa under the bus.
"I think sometimes what you think you see is not what is," Theresa stammered in a Theresa-bashing effort that flew over Gerry's head. His face looked like a golden retriever listening to French.
Gerry shockingly presented Kathy with a rose, which is all that Kathy really ― I mean really ― wanted.
Theresa survived another week, but who was eliminated on 'The Golden Bachelor'?
"This is crazy," Theresa lamented to the camera as she pieced together the feud she never saw coming. She cried and cried again in Gerry's hokily comforting arms without mentioning her clear antagonist.
Theresa even did the healthy thing by speaking to Kathy, who finally revealed her anger while maintaining her stubborn indignation. This dark genie is not going back into the bottle.
If Theresa can take one bit of solace from the emotionally bruising week, it's that Gerry gave her the last rose. So this drama will last another "Golden Bachelor" week. At least. And prospects for a TV feud-escalation look very promising.
Edith and Christina, who stayed out of the fray this week, will not go on this journey. They both went home.
Our critic says: Goshdarnit, 'The Golden Bachelor' is actually really good
Who is left on 'The Golden Bachelor'?
April, 65, a therapist from Port St. Lucie, Florida.Ellen, 71, a pickleball co-captain from Delray Beach, Florida.Faith, 61, a local radio host from Benton City, Washington.Kathy, 70, a retired educational consultant from Austin, Texas.Leslie, 64, a fitness instructor from Minneapolis.Nancy, 60, a retired interior designer from Alexandria, Virginia.Sandra, 75, a retired executive assistant from Doraville, Georgia.Susan, 66, a wedding officiant from Aston, Pennsylvania.Theresa, 70, a securities professional from Shrewsbury, New Jersey.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Golden Bachelor' recap: Which contestants went home on Episode 3?
