Grey's Anatomy recap: Just Like Magic

If you haven’t watched this week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy and genuinely hate spoilers — and yet are reading this recap — I’m giving you fair warning: STOP READING NOW! Because this week’s episode had a big twist that I’m going to talk about a lot. One of the doctors made a big mistake. Big. Huge. No Pretty Woman fans? Okay, we’ll move on.

Let’s start with the theme of the episode — drumroll, please — the theme was… magic! Does it exist? In what way does it exist? And so on. Kicking things off with a very in-your-face portrayal of magic, the ER took in a magician’s assistant who had been sawed in half by a chainsaw. If we’re being real here, the trick was called saw the lady in half. Unfortunately for this lady, her husband took things a little too literally. But what happened when the trap door didn’t work and the magician couldn’t hear the safety word over the sound of the chainsaw, well, that was graphic and not the least bit magical.

Away from all the squirting blood and exposed intestines, Arizona had a run-in with a new doctor, played by Hilarie Burton (who’s romantically involved with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, a.k.a. Denny Duquette!). Burton’s character, Lauren Boswell, was a craniofacial specialist that Jackson flew in to help with a baby whose brain was growing outside of its head. Talk about a rough welcome to the world. But in the opposite of a “rough welcome,” the very pretty Dr. Boswell ran into our blue-eyed Dr. Robbins at the coffee cart, where she didn’t waste any time. Boswell is not one to shy away from flirting, and Arizona didn’t exactly seem to mind. I think she wanted to mind, but you can’t blame a girl for looking twice.

Locked away in her genome lab, Bailey was also looking twice, but she was looking into her MRSA diagnosis… over and over and over again. Bailey had Richard take her patients while she swabbed her hand and tested herself enough times to fill up an entire counter with her petri dishes. All the tests came back negative, but that didn’t get Bailey to unlock the door. And neither did Callie’s incessant attempts to get her to so much as turn around and talk to her. Convinced that Bailey was mad at the entire council for calling the CDC, Callie rallied everyone to stand outside the doors of the genome lab and talk to Bailey. And when that failed, they caught her on a bathroom break. But despite Derek making fun of himself for his woods-loving alcoholic tendencies when he’s mad, Bailey wasn’t in the mood to chat. Not to anyone. And if the Nazi isn’t even in the mood to tell you off, you know you’re in trouble.

NEXT: Alex and two crazy chicks

The other person not in the mood to chat in this episode? Alex. Well, he didn’t want to chat with Jo, the girl he couldn’t escape despite wearing a hoodie and listening to what Cristina called the “soundtrack of your broken heart.” And so, for the rest of the episode, Alex, his “bummer face” and his “little broken heart” — all nicknames courtesy of Cristina — kept running into Jo while simultaneously trying to hide his feelings for her. It all culminated when she confronted him about him telling Jason about her past and such, but Alex made it clear that he was “sick of crazy chicks with problems,” and as far as Jo’s problems were concerned, he was out. To be fair, Alex has dealt with way, let me repeat, way too many “crazy chicks” in his life. But in the spirit of being fair, I don’t think Jo is one of them.

However, this episode did feature a number of crazy chicks, which came in the form of two college girls who didn’t seem to care at all that their friend has burned a hole in her stomach drinking something called a “smoking nipple” at a bar on her 21st birthday. Okay, it hasn’t been very long since I was in college, but I have never heard of this drink. According to April, it contains liquid nitrogen. Is this a new trend? And if so, how do we put a stop to it?

Basically, the drunk girls were more obsessed with Jackson’s good looks than the health of their bestie, and they ended up getting an earful from April, who went all smart nerd on them and encouraged them to “be awesome” and “aspire to greatness.” Feisty nerd April might be my favorite version of her, and I don’t think I’m alone in that. I saw the way Jackson was looking at her. He even considered blowing off Stephanie to go get a drink with April… for a second. But instead, he ended up making out with Stephanie at Joe’s (where he ended up going with Alex anyway?) after she gave him a speech about how they hadn’t hung out in 11 days and he needed to treat her better. I’m sorry, but if he forgot about seeing you two nights in a row, one super hot kiss is not going to change anything.

While all the baby couples worked out their issues, Owen and Cristina were still dealing with Ethan’s family saga. And believe it or not, things got more complicated. Cristina dedicated herself to waking up Ethan’s dad (probably so that Owen wouldn’t decide to become a replacement father if he hadn’t already), while Owen continued to play soccer with Ethan and help him through his crisis. But after Owen sent Ethan home with his grandmother, he learned the hard way that Ethan really didn’t have anyone looking after him when he showed up back at the hospital in an ambulance. He had overdosed on his grandmother’s sleeping pills. Oh, and Cristina’s idea for waking Ethan’s dad up failed. AND THEN Ethan’s grandmother told Owen that she couldn’t take him because she has cataracts and it’s all just too much. As much as I want this kid to catch a break, he is hurting Owen and Cristina, and Cristina knew it. When she mentioned the elephant in the room at the end of the episode: “You’ve changed. You want a kid, don’t you?” Owen convincingly responded, “I want you.” But the looks on their faces after they kissed said more than any three words could, and things did not look good.

NEXT: Arizona and Lauren share an elevator ride

With Meredith and Richard handling the not-so-magically-sawed-in-half woman, Derek spent his day helping a young girl’s brain do something complicated that I only half understood. There was something about blood flow. The important lesson was that magic can be used to strike fear in the hearts of little kids. And when that fails, bring up vampires. Works every time, right Brooks?

But let’s get back to the super flirtatious new doctor in town, who walked around the hospital eyeing Arizona, charming Callie into falling in love with her (only figuratively, don’t freak out) and making Jackson jealous that he didn’t get to operate more. But more than anything, she made Arizona stutter. And when the two ended their day with an elevator chat — which made me extremely nervous given this show’s history with elevators — Arizona finally told Lauren that she was married. “Also, I have one leg,” Arizona said, I think hoping to scare Lauren away. But it’s hard to scare someone away who knows how to do a thorough Google search. Lauren simply informed Arizona that she already knew about the leg, because (fun fact!) there is only one “Arizona Robbins” on the Internet. Uh oh.

Back outside the door to the Nazi’s lair, Richard finally made the call — he got Ben to fly into town. And with the return of her smokin’ hot husband, Bailey finally opened the door and let someone in, both physically and emotionally. She told him about her incessant testing of herself and how she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was still “dirty” no matter how many tests read “negative.” Bailey broke down, repeating that “They all died because of me.” Lucky for her, Ben’s number one job is to be there for her, which meant she finally had a shoulder to cry on. You know, one that hadn’t called the CDC on her.

At the end of the work day, while Alex and Jackson headed to Joe’s bar (after witnessing a heated argument between Jo and Jason), Derek and Meredith headed home to have some fictional tea with their adorable daughter. Derek, in a tiara, and Meredith, in tiger ears, discussed the perfection that was Zola and contemplated the idea that the new baby could be mean to her. He might steal her toys, which was an idea that didn’t sit well with papa McDreamy. But when all else failed to calm him, he reverted back to performing his best British accent and enjoying another cup of tea (pinky up, of course).

NEXT: Peckwell did WHAT?!

Now to the good stuff — did you like how I saved the big spoiler for the end? — after Alex saw Jo fighting with her boyfriend, he proceeded to Joe’s to have a drink. But by the time he got back home, Jo was sitting on his porch. And after he gave her a talk about how she was “killing” him and how he was trying to avoid her, she looked up and revealed bruises on her face. Just for public record, I would like to say: I SO CALLED THIS. When I saw Jo and Jason fighting in the hospital, I thought we were going to see him push her or something right then and there. No guy really walks around in pink scrubs and is that bright and shiny… not in this world. The episode ended when Jo asked to stay with Alex. And now, I have so many questions. Is Alex and his tough-as-nails exterior going to beat the crap out of Jason? Who would actually win that fight? Or is Jo going to turn all dark now? She CANNOT go crazy. Alex literally cannot handle any more of that. My head is spinning, but I’m also very excited. You gotta love a defensive man. Although part of me hopes Jo beats the crap out of Peckwell herself (girl power!).

The end of the episode left us with a simple message: “Most everything can be survived.” Did that give you guys hope for Dr. Bailey? How long do you think before she returns to surgery, if she returns at all? Speaking of “how long” questions, how long before Alex says those three little words?! And did that mean that Jo will get through this? Other things that message could apply to: Will Derek and Meredith’s baby be okay? Will it be a “monster?” Not literally, of course. And what is next in the Ethan-Owen-Cristina saga? It is definitely shaping up like Owen will take Ethan in, but I’m not convinced that Cristina will ever change her mind about kids, even a grown(ish) one.

Hit the comments with your every thought! And don’t forget about the flirtation between April and Jackson this week. Are they going to be able to ignore their passion for much longer?!

Samantha on Twitter: @samhighfill