Halsey says suffering a miscarriage is 'the most inadequate I’ve ever felt'
Halsey has released her most raw album to date, Manic, and the superstar isn't shying away from discussing the emotional topics she sings about. In an interview with The Guardian, Halsey opened up about the pain of suffering a miscarriage.
"It’s the most inadequate I’ve ever felt," she explained. "Here I am achieving this out-of-control life, and I can’t do the one thing I’m biologically put on this earth to do. Then I have to go onstage and be this sex symbol of femininity and empowerment? It is demoralizing."
Halsey poured her heart into the emotional track "More," which is about her desire to have a child, but was terrified to release it given the online abuse she received after publicly revealing she had a miscarriage years ago. The singer has been diagnosed with endometriosis, where tissue that normally lines the uterus can be found on the ovaries, fallopian tubes or the intestines. Miscarriage rates are higher in women with endometriosis, studies say. But Halsey said her latest prognosis is positive and that motherhood is "looking like something that’s gonna happen for me. That’s a miracle."
The 24-year-old singer is currently dating American Horror Story star Evan Peters, and she said she's retiring from "changing some boring guy’s life." That may or may not be a swipe at G-Eazy. Halsey's breakup with the rapper inspired her biggest hit to date, "Without Me," which spent a year on the U.S. charts.
"As writers, we have this habit of waiting until something doesn’t hurt anymore. On 'Without Me,' I ran into a burning building to find whatever I could before I felt too afraid to speak. I’d gone from being a 19-year-old activist, a sexual badass, to this girl who’s someone’s partner," she reflected.
After splitting with G-Eazy, whom she collaborated with for his song "Him & I," Halsey was vilified.
"Everyone’s instinct was: she must have cheated," she recalled. "It’s easy to make me the villain. I’m in a bikini in a music video, so I must be a whore." Halsey threw up her hands, "It’s so much greater than me – it’s a social perception of women. So f*** it, I’m gonna tell them everything that happened."
Halsey continued, "I am financially independent, I have my own team, I have every resource in the world to get out of [misogyny]. I still can’t. How hard must it be for women who don’t have these resources?"
Judging from the lyrics it was the rapper who wasn't faithful — and Halsey's not afraid to air anyone's dirty laundry. It's why she thinks can't count many female pop stars as friends.
"It’s hard to figure out when being an activist deflects attention from my art," she fretted. "Sometimes when you’re the center of 'having something to say' you start losing your agency. People don’t wanna hear it."
Like when Halsey called out former Grammys president Neil Portnow, who said women need to "step up" if they wanted to earn more Grammy nominations.
"I had a lot to say about that, and I am nowhere to be seen on any of those acknowledgments," she lamented. "Nobody wants to be my friend. They’re scared I’m gonna pop off about something. I’m drama by association. I put myself out there with my peers; I don’t know if people really ever wanted to do the same with me. So I stopped wasting my energy."
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