Jack Black And Paul Rudd's Anaconda Reboot Sounds Bad

Image: Sony / Columbia Pictures / Kotaku / Kyle Rivasy / Don Arnold / WireImage (Getty Images)
Image: Sony / Columbia Pictures / Kotaku / Kyle Rivasy / Don Arnold / WireImage (Getty Images)

A new report claims that Jack Black and Paul Rudd are talking to Columbia Pictures to star in an upcoming, meta-comedy reboot of the ‘90s creature flick Anaconda. And boy, does this new project sound bad!

Released in 1997, the original Anaconda starred Owen Wilson, Ice Cube, Jennifer Lopez, and Jon Voight and told the tale of a small group of people getting involved in a lunatic’s dangerous hunt for a giant snake. It’s a pretty campy film, featuring some over-the-top performances and questionable CGI. But it was also a hit at the box office, even leading to a few sequels. And now, there are plans to turn the film into a comedy.

On August 21, Variety reported that Black and Rudd were in talks to star in a new Anaconda reboot/re-imagining from Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F writer Tom Gormican, who will also direct the movie. According to Variety, the new Anaconda won’t be a remake of the original. Instead, it’s reportedly about a group of friends who are all facing “mid-life crises.” So they decide to remake their favorite movie, which I assume will be Anaconda. But once they arrive in the jungle, “things get real quickly.”

Variety reports that while they don’t yet know who Jack Black and Paul Rudd will play in the movie, two of the lead characters are described as a wannabe director and a failed semi-famous actor.

A meta-comedy reboot of Anaconda misses the point

Now, to be clear: I don’t think 1997's Anaconda is some incredible masterpiece that should be treated as an untouchable piece of pop culture history.

It’s a campy, over-the-top giant monster movie featuring bad CG (but great practical puppetry) and some wild moments. However, the key reason the film works is that it feels earnest. It doesn’t wink at the audience constantly or go, “Yeah, we know this is silly and dumb, too.” That helps it feel less like a bunch of people made something bad and wasted your time and more like a movie made by people who cared.

Sure, the Anaconda cast and crew didn’t make the next American classic, but in the end, they made something memorable, fun, and enjoyable to watch. If I had to guess, a meta-comedy about people who liked Anaconda going to the jungle and making jokes about Anaconda the whole time likely won’t turn out to be memorable, fun, or enjoyable. It will probably just lead to me wanting a giant snake to appear and eat me.

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