Jerry Seinfeld at 70: Comic gives keys to 24-year marriage at Netflix Is A Joke Festival
LOS ANGELES ― During a pause in Jerry Seinfeld's routine at Los Angeles' Hollywood Bowl Wednesday night, an audience member shouted out a birthday greeting to the comedian, who turned 70 on April 29.
"Yes, I had a birthday. I'm 70," Seinfeld said, prompting the crowd to cheer. "That sounds like a joke. It doesn't even sound real to me. I feel the same. I don't know what it means."
It doesn't seem real for anyone, including the comedy legend whose iconic NBC series "Seinfeld" ended its nine-season run in 1998 with a controversial finale (replayed by Larry David when he ended HBO's "Curb Your Enthusiasm" in April.
The fathomable part of Seinfeld's stage musing was what the milestone meant: nothing. The newly minted septuagenarian delivered more hilarious observations about everyday life, as always, as Seinfeld headlined the sold-out opening night of the "Netflix Is A Joke Festival," which runs through May 12.
Sebastian Maniscalco, Nate Bargatze, Jim Gaffigan performed with Jerry Seinfeld at the opening of 'Netflix Is A Joke Fest'
"Welcome to the 'Netflix Is A Joke Festival,' I'm here with the greatest comedians we could get, who were available tonight," Seinfeld said to start the show.
He stood next to his fellow comics ― Sebastian Maniscalco, Nate Bargatze and .Jim Gaffigan, his co-star in the Seinfeld-directed Netflix comedy "Unfrosted: A Pop-Tart Story" (streaming Friday).
"I've got to get used to this, because I'm not used to working with other people," said Maniscalco, 50, changing his position onstage with the other comics. "I'm kind of out of place, trying to figure out where I belong in the group."
"I used to work with three other very funny people," Seinfeld responded, referring to his "Seinfeld" co-stars to big applause. "I got used to that."
The group chose numbers from a hat to determine the order in which they'd perform. Maniscalco pulled the first, and somehow Seinfeld pulled the fourth, closing act. He introduced Maniscalco, explaining how he discovered the comedian in a New York City comedy club more than a decade ago and knew the "Bookie" star would be big.
"The next thing I knew he was absolutely huge, and he deserves every bit of it," said Seinfeld. "He's beyond a doubt one of the best physical comedians out there."
How long has Jerry Seinfeld been married? Nearly 25 years
During his routine, Seinfeld comically dissected his nearly quarter-century marriage to his wife, Jessica Seinfeld, and family life (the couple, who married in December 1999, have three children).
"I have been married for 24 wonderful years," Seinfeld said as the crowd cheered. "All marriage-year numbers get applause. Audiences are forced to applaud when they hear that year number. It is a similar applause to when an injured athlete is carted off the field on a stretcher. We applaud for pain. You hear that number and you go, 'That had to hurt at certain points.'"
Seinfeld offered his keys to long-term marital success. A big one is just rolling along.
"They say, 'Knowledge is power,' but I find the less I know, the better off I am," he said. "When my wife tells me what we're doing, it doesn't matter if I knew about it or not. Why would I have a conversation with my wife about what I thought was happening? Who would benefit from that? No one that I can think of. It would make as much sense as explaining to the dog what has been planned for the rest of his day. The dog doesn't care or need to know. Dogs and husbands both understand: Just be ready to go out."
Marriage is "adult education," Seinfeld said.
"My degree is in wife-ology, which is the study of fine female facial movements ― eyebrow angles, dental tension, nostril expansion and enhanced oxygen for emotional expressiveness," he said. "Being a wife is an art, being a husband is a science."
Jim Gaffigan thanks Mounjaro drug for weight loss
Gaffigan, 57, cut a svelte figure from the Hollywood Bowl stage, saying that people constantly ask how he lost weight or if he was taking a long-term weight management drug like Ozempic.
"These people come up to me and accuse me of being on an appetite suppressant," said Gaffigan. "It's like, 'You're on Ozempic!' I'm not, OK? I'm on a different one. I'm on Mounjaro, which is better because it sounds like an Italian restaurant."
Gaffigan said some people unfairly speak out about others taking drugs to lose weight.
"It's like 'That's cheating. It's not fair,'" said Gaffigan. "I'm not playing major league baseball. It's not fair? Neither is balding and being born with no pigmentation. But I have learned to deal with that."
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Jerry Seinfeld, Sebastian Maniscalco roll at Netflix Is A Joke Fest
