Now that this season of 'Vanderpump Rules' is over, how will I ever SUR-vive?
Now that Season 10 of “Vanderpump Rules” – aka the explosive Scandoval documentary – has come to a close, a portion of the Foo Fighters song “Everlong” keeps playing over and over in my head: “And I wonder, when I sing along with you, if everything could ever feel this real forever, if anything could ever be this good again?”
How I wish the “Vanderpump” coverage of the monthslong affair between Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss, a close friend of his longtime girlfriend Ariana Madix, could last as long as the Duracell batteries Madix is hawking. I’d like to be perfectly clear: I would not have wished this scandal or resulting anguish on anyone, even if it brought us Madix’s reunion revenge dress (fine, cropped top and skirt moment). But since it did happen, and we all ate it up like Something About Her sandwiches, I am concerned that it marked peak reality TV, and that everything that follows will be a letdown. Now that this season is over, what will become of me?
Before news of the affair broke in March and captivated the attention of seemingly every media outlet, including CNN and The New York Times (half-hearted apologies to Liev Schreiber), I don’t think I’d given one episode of Bravo’s long-running program my undivided attention. Afterward, though, the series – centered on the shenanigans of current and former employees of Lisa Vanderpump's restaurants – became appointment television, the kind you watch in real time while texting your Bravo bestie who signed up for live TV for the three-part reunion. Earlier seasons became my background show. I watched the first part of this season’s reunion four times, and it soothed me for some inexplicable reason.
Celebrities were also hooked.
“’Vanderpump Rules,’ this whole season for many months, has been the biggest part of my life,” Amy Schumer told Andy Cohen on “Watch What Happens Live” last week. At a party, “you find the people who watch ‘Vanderpump,’ and you go and you sit and you talk for the rest of the night.”
Kaley Cuoco staunchly supported Madix. “If anyone isn't team Ariana, just get the hell out of here,” she told me in an interview. “You don't deserve to talk.”
I watched each episode post-Scandoval wondering if I could catch a glimpse of the couple’s discreet liaison – there were several – and cringed when Madix shut down suspicions because her friend and boyfriend were trustworthy.
'Vanderpump Rules: Secrets Revealed' airs Tom Sandoval, Raquel Leviss' lies about affair
Now all other reality TV pales in comparison. When my Bravo bestie texts me about an episode of a different unscripted series, my most frequent review is “Meh.” The debut of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” earlier this month, with the return of briefly paused Tamra Judge? Meh. This entire season of “Summer House”? Meh (typed in bed). “Summer House: Martha's Vineyard,” which was poorly cast and had so much “drama” revolving around the unexpected presence of a dog? M-E-H!
And it’s not just Bravo. I find only about a quarter of each new episode of “The Kardashians” to be (to quote Kim) "exciting to look at."
Added to Madix’s heart and trust and (and far below in priority), I fear Scandoval has broken reality TV for me.
'Vanderpump Rules' reunion finale: Raquel reveals she slept with Tom while Ariana attended funeral
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: ‘Vanderpump Rules’ was peak reality TV. What is life post-Scandoval?