It’s been a strange transition from packrat to box-packer | Sam Venable

The intellectual side of my brain says a woman in Japan doesn’t care about the tribulations of a newspaper columnist in Tennessee.

The emotional of my brain says the opposite: she has dedicated her life to making my life miserable.

I speak, of course, of bestselling author Marie Kondo. In recent years, she’s become the diva of decluttering. According to Miss Marie, you should keep things only “if they spark joy, like holding a puppy.”

As did many skeptics, I was quick to ridicule her advice. In my column of Jan. 27, 2019, I said what brings me joy is not holding a puppy. It’s collecting more “stuff.”

But like Paul on the road to Damascus, I’ve done an abrupt 180.

Mary Ann and I are leaving our log home in the woods and returning to civilization. It’s tearing my guts out, but I know it’s the prudent thing to do.

After 25 years of joyously building trails, chain sawing, digging, hauling river rock, tending wildflowers galore, our “fun work” has become “work work.” What used to be a simple, two-hour task is now all-day torture. Even then the job isn’t finished, and we’re exhausted.

Also, stairs are everywhere and have become a pain for two sets of 75-year-old knees, hips and legs, not to mention a potential hazard. Being good geezers, we’re downsizing and moving to a one-floor abode.

I had a long talk with my friend Bill Landry, the former “Heartland” host and one of our team on the old “Talk Is Cheap” comedy tour. Bill used to live in a cabin at the edge of the Smokies. He and wife Sandy now reside on the South Carolina coast.

“Was it tough to leave the woods?” I asked.

“Terrible at first.”

But once the umbilical was snipped, all has been well. In fact, he and Sandy have changed coastal addresses twice.

Bill’s advice: “The first time you move, pack everything you think you’ll need, and then throw half of it away. The second time you move, throw away the other half.”

Thus, I’ve become a convert. I’ve been giving away “stuff” by the triple handful: to kids, grandkids, friends, church camps, libraries and charitable organizations. I must admit the experience has been somewhat liberating.

Which brings me back to Marie Kondo. What happened to her during my conversion? She backslid!

In a recent interview with The Washington Post, she admitted to living amid cluttered conditions these days, especially since the birth of her third child.

What?! That’s like hearing Patrick Mahomes say football is no longer important, and he’d just as soon play checkers.

If I could figure out which box contains the printer and paper, I’d write Miss Marie a nasty letter.

Sam Venable’s column appears every Sunday. Contact him at [email protected].

This article originally appeared on Knoxville News Sentinel: Sam Venable: It's been a strange transition from packrat to box-packer