The Crow branded a 'train wreck' that is 'unfit' for theatrical release
The Crow has swooped into cinemas, with critics sharing insight into their thoughts on the film and it's not looking good for the reimagining of James O'Barr's 1989 comic book series.
Starring Bill Skarsg?rd and FKA Twigs as doomed lovers Eric and Shelly, the film follows their romance before Shelly's past comes back to haunt her and they are both killed. Eric comes back to life, though, and when he returns to the world he has one thing on his mind — revenge. Rupert Sanders take on the story may try and seem new, but it will inevitably be compared to the 1994 movie that became Brandon Lee's legacy when he died on set.
Read more: The Crow's Bill Skarsg?rd hails FKA Twigs as 'a true artist' in remake
Critics certainly felt compelled to compare the 2024 movie to its predecessor, and in some cases even the poorly-received follow-ups to the 1994 film. They weren't favourable comparisons though, as the new film was branded a "train-wreck" that is "unfathomably awful".
The Guardian's Benjamin Lee shared a scathing review of the film, giving it only one star. The critic held nothing back as he wrote: "It’s genuinely startling just how utterly wretched the finished product is and how unfit it is for a wide release.
"Filmed two years ago and dumped on a low-expectation late summer weekend, The Crow 2.0 is a total, head-in-hands disaster, incoherently plotted and sloppily made, destined to join the annals of the very worst and most pointless remakes ever made."
Lee derided the film's lack of "urge" and "passion", saying that it felt more like "B-roll of two lifeless actors posing for a lower-tier perfume ad" than a movie of note. The critic went on to lament Skarsg?rd's "one-note" take on Eric, and his take on Twigs was no better as he wrote that she is "completely, deadeningly flat, giving us absolutely nothing."
Similarly, CinemaBlend's Eric Eisenberg wrote that the film's long journey to the big screen was "not in the slightest" bit worth it, writing that the film is "a train wreck with no raison d'etre apparent beyond IP exploitation."
Comparing the film to the 1994 original, Eisenberg wrote: "While the original is a shockingly elegant – albeit dark and violent – revenge tale given life by a charismatic lead, dynamic style and a memorable supporting cast, the reimagining is clumsy, thin, and as shallow as the murky puddle it feels like the whole movie was dragged through."
The critic also called the film "a bore" that takes so long to get to the point that viewers will be "checked out" before the revenge begins. Eisenberg added: "It’s a pointless remake, and perhaps the only good in it is that its existence means we will likely never hear about another one and can go back to simply appreciating the original."
Read more: Why did The Crow remake take so long to arrive?
The Hollywood Reporter's David Rooney also called out the films slow pace, saying that it "plods with numbing inefficiency through a snoozy preamble" and adding: "It successfully establishes neither the instantly eternal love between Eric and Shelly, nor the sinister fiend who cuts short their rapture."
"The Crow is a sluggish, overly self-serious gloomfest that never takes wing," Rooney added. "Given the long string of directors and lead actors attached to the project over its 16 years of on-off development, the overworked, lifeless result should be no surprise. I suppose at least we were spared the Mark Wahlberg version."
Variety's Dennis Harvey gave the film a more favourable review, writing that if viewers are able to look past the previous films then this new version "does work to a considerable extent on its own terms — as a dreamy fantasy thriller that’s bloody yet oddly inviting."
The critic went on: "More slowly paced than most popcorn entertainments these days, it has a tenor less superheroic, pop-Gothic or martial-artsy than viewers may expect from previous entries. This reinvention’s contrastingly elegant yet dislocated revenge-slash-love story is no slam dunk. But neither is it an unwatchable dud."
Even so, Harvey added that he feels "there will be little call for more where this came from" but that it is "at the very least the best Crow movie released since" the 1994 original.
IndieWire's Ryan Latanzzio was less forgiving, saying of Skarsg?rd: "The actor is often shirtless, gobsmackingly muscled, mulleted, top-to-toe tattooed, and it’s sexy, even if his character is a walking void, a colour-killed soul often just deadly onscreen in failing to make us care to be along for the ride.
"The Crow is not a waste of talent or resources; worse, it just hangs there on the screen, as undead as Eric himself."
The Crow is out in cinemas now.
