Whitney Cummings Opens Up About Her Eating Disorder in New Memoir: ‘I Almost Exclusively Ate Sugar-Free Twizzlers and Diet Sunkist’

Whitney Cummings is an open book – and soon everyone can read her story.

The comic will release her first memoir with G.P. Putnam’s Sons in fall 2017, PEOPLE can exclusively announce.

“I always told myself I would wait to write a book until I had accumulated enough humiliating mistakes to actually make the read worth your time,” Cummings, 33, said. “I’ve dated a gay guy, had my hair fall out from not eating enough fat, put family members in rehab, and come very close to spending my life in a Guatemalan prison. I’ve also accumulated a compendium of knowledge that can save you a lot of time.”

The stand-up comedian – who released her critically acclaimed HBO special I’m Your Girlfriend earlier this year – has never been one to shy away from getting personal or self-deprecating.

Last year, she joked about her recent weight gain to Today’s Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford, “I put on, like, 20 lbs. People think I got a face lift.”

In her memoir, though, Cummings will open up about the truth behind her fluctuating weight: disordered eating.

“It didn’t occur to me that I had an eating disorder even though I almost exclusively ate sugar-free Twizzlers and Diet Sunkist,” she said.

Known for her smarts and searing wit, the 2 Broke Girls co-creator will get real about past relationships – “drug addicts were my drug,” she said – and how she hid past infidelity: “My shadiness took many forms such as programming guys’ names in my phone as other things: ‘Grandma home’ was my go-to,” she said.

Her first memoir, I’m Fine … And Other Lies will follow another first for the funnywoman, who will make her directorial debut with the upcoming relationship comedy The Female Brain.

“I’ve been putting off writing a book for a while because I wanted to make sure I had ample time to make it great and I never thought I’d say this, but I’m also really looking forward to writing in longer stretches than 140 characters or less,” said Cummings.

“I feel like I finally accumulated enough embarrassments, disasters and wisdom to put a book together that can compete with reading the Internet. And you’re welcome, readers, now you can just read this book instead of f—ing up like I did.”