Regifting Etiquette Rules You Need to Know This Holiday Season
The holiday season is without a doubt the most wonderful time of the year. But it can also be a tricky season to navigate, etiquette-wise: with countless holiday parties to attend and numerous gift exchanges to participate in, it can be difficult to make sure you're giving an appropriate present every time. And there's where the dilemma of regifting comes in. Regifting a present that was originally given to you can seem like it's always a faux-pas, but there are very specific situations in which it's okay to pass along a gift that you won't use.
We consulted etiquette expert Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette and author of Modern Etiquette Made Easy, for her best tips on when it's okay to regift a present—and when you should avoid recycling a gift completely.
There are certain situations when regifting a present is okay. Meier advises you can only regift something if the gift has never been opened before, and if both people in the situation (the one who gave you the gift and the one receiving the regifted item) will never find out. And finally, the type of present also determines if you can regift: if it's something generic, like a box of holiday chocolate, then you can recycle it.
You can also regift if you already have the exact item you received (or something similar), if the item doesn't fit, if it's not your sense of style, or if you simply have no use for it.
"Never regift within your circle or even extended circle," Meier said. "Someone could easily wear or use something that you regifted and then bump into the person who originally gave it to you."
Think of individuals who fall in completely different relationship categories and social scenes: Meier explains that if someone at work gave you something that you want to give your cousin who has no affiliation to the work environment or social circle, you can go for it.
Meier advises that any gift with easily identifiable features should not be regifted. Specifically, if the gift was customized, monogrammed, personalized in any way, or was created specifically for you, don't regift it. And, if it's immediately identifiable or unique in nature, don't recycle it.
Meier shared another regifting tip, if you're planning on saving a gift to regift at a later date: always stick a posit-it on a gift before you stash it away of who gave it to you and on what date so you never regift to the wrong person!
"If you decide to re-gift an item because you know someone who would love it and perhaps you already have it, make sure the gift is in its original packaging, has never been opened or even been used, or tried on," Meier said.
"Never tell the person you know or suspect you have been given a regift, as it could horribly embarrass the person," Meier said. "At the end of the day, you were given a gift, which we should only ever show gratitude for."
Meier said this depends on your relationship with the new recipient, adding that it may be a great option at times. As Meier explains, this can be handled appropriately: "My best friend recently sent me a gorgeous gift with a note that said 'Full disclosure, this is a regift, but I think it would look way more fabulous on you,' which I thought was honest and upfront and didn’t take away how much I absolutely love the gift."
"I personally would not bring this up to either the person you originally gifted or the person who received the regift," Meier explained. "While it may be hurtful to see a gift you chose for someone regifted to another person, you never know the circumstances to why they regifted. Perhaps they already had something similar. No matter what you want to say, remain gracious and take the high road of silence on this one."
"I know naturally your feelings may be hurt, whose wouldn’t?" Meier said. "That being said, try not to take it personally. As the gift giver, you don’t know why someone chose to regift something. The fact they didn’t tell you meant they didn’t want to hurt your feelings, and that should get a bit of credit. Just take note for the next gift of what their style is or is not."
This is a tricky one to navigate. "Usually you wouldn’t tell the person that you regifted it, as it may cause hurt if you do tell them," Meier explained. "That being said, it’s up to you and your relationship with the person if you choose to do so—for example, you tell your mom you gave the sweater she gave you to your sister because orange is more her color."
Meier said it's risky and inconsiderate for the original giver to point out they haven't seen the gift they gave you, but it can happen. "If it’s something for the home for instance, and the person who comes over looks around and doesn’t see it, you may find yourself blushing," Meier said. "While you probably don’t want to not tell that person you donated it to Salvation Army, you may say something like 'That was such a thoughtful gift. I’m always changing things around the house and clearly tucked it away somewhere.'"
Go ahead and keep that beautiful candle or plain scarf handy—Meier advises it's not poor etiquette to regift an item like this. "I know a very famous hostess who does this, and I don’t think it’s bad etiquette," Meier said. "In fact, think it’s being resourceful and note wasteful. If you have generic gifts you want to regift, simply make sure they have never been used, still in original packaging and not expired."
Regifting Etiquette Rules You Need to Know This Holiday Season
The holiday season is without a doubt the most wonderful time of the year. But it can also be a tricky season to navigate, etiquette-wise: with countless holiday parties to attend and numerous gift exchanges to participate in, it can be difficult to make sure you're giving an appropriate present every time. And there's where the dilemma of regifting comes in. Regifting a present that was originally given to you can seem like it's always a faux-pas, but there are very specific situations in which it's okay to pass along a gift that you won't use.
We consulted etiquette expert Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette and author of Modern Etiquette Made Easy, for her best tips on when it's okay to regift a present—and when you should avoid recycling a gift completely.
An etiquette expert reveals the proper way to regift—and what to do when it's a definite faux-pas.
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