The 32 best Great British Bake Off innuendos
On the surface, it's a good-humoured family show, in which a group of likeable people take part in a friendly competition to see who can create the best cakes, desserts and biscuits. But Bake Off wouldn't be Bake Off without all the naughty innuendo, lingering just below the surface. Here are some of our favourite double-entendres, intentional and purely accidental, from series past and present.
1. “If there’s an opportunity for exposed bottoms we should embrace it”
Noel Fielding defies the skeptics with an innuendo-laden debut as Channel 4's new Bake Off presenter.
2. “I can't wait to romp in your forest”
Mel can't contain her enthusiasm for Ian's animal-filled Black Forest gateaux in series six.
3. “Stop touching your dough balls”
Sue tells the contestants that they've run out of time in series five's show-stopper bread-making challenge
4. “Stand away from your hot baps!”
This inevitable bread week "bap" innuendo came courtesy of Mel and Sue
5. “Stop fiddling with your pirates!”
In series five, Richard created an island scene for his 3D biscuit showstopper – leading to this lovely reprimand from Sue
6. “You want something quite rigid, but something that will taste good too”
Paul Hollywood explains how to make the perfect 3D biscuit scene
7. “Keep your biscuits erect... you've got four hours to do so!”
Sue introduces series five, week two's 3D biscuit challenge
8. “Typically I do it on the floor, because it gets so stiff”
Series five's Enwezor on how he likes to tackle his gingerbread dough
9. “Right, bakers. Time to reveal your cracks”
Sue delights in instruction in series five.
10. “Some of them have got a good forking”
Mary Berry on the contestant's biscuits in week two
11. “Wow, to be commended on your nuts by Mary Berry. You've had a great day, Nancy”
Nancy receives the ultimate compliment in the first week of series five
12. “You have got two hours to pop Mary's cherry...”
The second half of this quote from Sue was: "...in the oven, and bring it out again. But we liked the deliberately large gap she left between.
13. “I knew it would be easier by machine. But I just like to feel it”
Nancy explains why she prefers traditional mixing methods
14. “I’m ganaching my buns”
A self-explanatory but none-the-less hilarious comment from the competition's oldest-ever baker, 69-year-old Diana
15. “You’ve got the best-tasting offcuts in the biz!”
Sue compliments Kate's offcuts in week one, series five
16. “It's just a bit bold and fat and big...”
And it's for men! The object being described was, of course, Norman's week one Swiss roll
17. “I'm aware of Mary Berry and I can't wait for her to taste my wares”
Scot Norman looks forward to meeting Mary, just before the series five competition kicks off
18. “Rob, stop touching up that octopus”
Perkins instructed scientist contestant Rob as he put the final touches to his octopus-shaped bread in week two, series four
19. “The terror of a soggy bottom has been keeping me up all night”
Series four finalist Kimberley shares her worst nightmare
20. “Think palmier, think lattice, think pin-wheel. But mainly, think massive horn”
Perkins when describing the Petits Fours pastries challenge to the contestants in week seven, series four
21. Christine: “You can’t change [the recipe] too much because otherwise it’s not a spotted dick anymore, it’s something else” Perkins: “Otherwise it’s just a ginger dick”
Perkins reduced contestant Christine to giggles in week seven, series four
22. “I’ve never eaten a nun before”
Perkins, who is openly gay, shocked contestant Glenn ahead of a French pastry challenge in week seven, series four, after taking a bite of a French choux confection known as a “religieuse”, due to its resemblance to a miniature pastry nun.
23. “It looks very nice on top, and I just hope that's replicated underneath”
Mary Berry got involved with the innuendo while judging the pies in week seven
24. “Go on Mary, give it a good slapping”
In a glut of filo pastry-related smut, it was judge Paul Hollywood's cheeky encouragement to Berry's demonstration which won in week four, series four
25. “I feel like I've been on Glenn's Helter Skelter”
Bake Off finalist Frances referred to a fellow contestant's signature bake after an emotional contest in week five
26. “Time to stop fiddling with Charlotte now”
Perkins called time on the contestants' efforts to make a Charlotte Royale in week nine, series four
27. “I'm going to try the old wiggling between two dangling things technique”
Contestant Glenn explains his unusual baking practice in week three, series four
28. “Oh no, you have some irregular-shaped balls”
A classic piece of criticism from Mary Berry
29. “He loves his buns”
Berry tells the viewers something new about Hollywood, a professional baker, in week six, series four
30. “It’s all in the wrist action”
Mary discusses whisking techniques
31. “Get those lady’s fingers soggy!”
Sue dishes out some deliebrately dirty trifle-related advice in series four
32. “Do you flour your finger?”
Paul and Prue horrified viewers in season seven with an exchange the press called the most innuendo-laden Bake Off had seen:
Paul: “So it's all about making both of the balls quite tight.”The way that you do that, the way that I do it, is to drive my finger right all the way to the tray underneath,”
Prue: “Do you flour your finger?"
Paul: “I could oil it.”
