88 Jokes From This Month That Went Viral On Twitter And Had Me Crying With Laughter
The shortest month of the year still managed to feel pretty long. Thank god for Twitter for giving us a lot to laugh about through it! Here are some of the funniest viral tweets from this month that you won't be able to read with a straight face:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so that your Twitter feed is that much better!
1.
people will call anime weird then watch 27 year olds play highschoolers on netflix
2.
Lady walked into the Jamaican spot and asked if they had beyond meat . If you had just heard how the woman behind the counter sucked her teeth lmaoooo
3.
me: I'm quitting, here's my badge and gunzookeeper: your what
4.
5.
he can’t be serious
6.
(very manipulatively) when's your birthday
7.
Why do kids cough like that? Tongue out, mouth wide open with not a hand in sight ??
8.
if u think u going to hell just know that one time i went to church, stood at the alter and lied to everyone saying i had a dream that i went to hell and seen most of them there
9.
We used to pay real money for ringtones and now if my phone makes a noise it ruins my day
10.
Well….was supposed to get my tiddies done tomorrow but my SURGEON WAS ARRESTED for MANSLAUGHTER so that’s fun
11.
My husband just called and the first thing he said was “YOU ARE ON SPEAKER.” 5 times ??????
12.
If I was dating the tinder swindler and he texted me saying someone was after him I’d just get the ick
13.
14.
batman: what?riddler: i said, you have 6 chances to guess this 5-letter word or the city gets it
15.
16.
taking a nonbinary home like “let’s get you out of that complicated tank top”
17.
can’t grocery shop two days before going out of town - legally have to eat weird and bad meals
18.
i check her phone everyday to make sure she not texting pete davidson
19.
my bank blocked my card because of a security threat. it was me, buying a mattress, at 2 am. i am my own biggest threat
20.
have snoop and martha ever like… almost? like there was a tension in the air, both of them felt it, but neither of them knew if it was the right move so they just said… goodnight? but both fell asleep staring at the ceiling thinking… “woah”
21.
me: i saw a ratchuck e. cheese employee: are u serious whereme: [terrified] it’s really fucking big man
22.
if i ask you to take pics of me and you start tilting the camera just hand me my phone back
23.
Just found out Jesus is a nepo baby
24.
my mom is always like “I’d still love you if you MURDERED someone” and it’s like ok is that a dare
25.
I love that hello kitty has branded products in literally anything. Like wtf do I have the option to have hello kitty pasta
26.
me watching the fork i put in the microwave
27.
if I’m still single next year I’m applying for love is blind
28.
I’m tired of people saying “here’s my go to lazy meal” and then they start chopping an onion
29.
writers love saying things like "he had a toothy grin" what is a toothy grin. just making shit up. "he walked feetily into the kitchen" that's how you sound
30.
hateful ass fish
31.
always feel like everyone else at the grocery store is doing a better job at grocery shopping than me
32.
33.
Why are all podcasts “two best friends” I want a podcast that’s Two sworn enemies. Just two bitches that absolutely hate each other
34.
i’d b a terrible therapist cause i’d want u to show me a pic of the guy u keep crying about
35.
sometimes i talk to myself and we both laugh
36.
“euphoria day!!” there used to be a time were sundays were for GOD
37.
38.
i get so annoyed whenever ppl call kids evil but then i remember when i was 8 and had recently seen mean girls for the first time, and i got yelled at by my mother so i wrote “slut” on a scrap of paper then left it on her bed for her to find. so ig i’ll let y’all have it
39.
"What percent you on?" First of all this my charger
40.
how do people live in LA? aren't you worried about running into james corden
41.
are u serious or are u being camp rn
42.
girls will be like, “i love a man with style” and it will be avoidant attachment style
43.
had such a tough day at work today
44.
i hate people that say “it’s too early to be eating that” WHAT TIME DO A STOMACH OPEN?
45.
“I’m free February 14th” well duh you tweet about tv and films daily
46.
i’m never “coming out” to anyone ever again. if you can’t tell i’m a little gay then that’s on you
47.
at the end of the day, it’s night
48.
Our system is shit. I’m 24 and only have two years left on my moms health insurance. Then, I have to find a new mother
49.
icarly was right when she said live life, breathe air, somehow we’re gonna get there
50.
Running towards the bus before it left was one of the most embarrassing things ever
51.
At least 4 of my pill bottles say “may cause dizziness” so before you’re mean to me online consider that I might be the dizziest bitch in the world ok
52.
Y’all be arguing on the same app I watch porn on
53.
kanye talks about pete davidson like he’s Dinkleberg
54.
Apartments will show you 44 pics of the lobby. Bitch I ain’t living in there.
55.
since y’all so free feb 14 go see a therapist
56.
Sorry I didn’t reply to your email. It is Saturday and you shouldn’t have sent it.
57.
This man looked at my “444” necklace and goes “Wendys. Nice” FUCK
58.
i don’t irish exit, i american withdraw (make a big show about leaving and then linger indefinitely)
59.
me when I’m 75: is he in our grade
60.
i remember i was broke af and a chick found $20 in my car it was so hard acting like i aint need dat shit
61.
Tracking number isn’t enough, I need to be on the delivery drivers private story.
62.
FaceTimed her and someone in the back said “ew that’s him?”
63.
Omg…what
64.
guys I cancelled my netflix subscription im so excited to finally own a house who knew it was this easy ??
65.
Caught omicron from my therapist. Never thought my first breakthrough would be Covid.
66.
don’t bite the hand that fingers u or however it goes
67.
the vibrator died while Brian and I were fucking and this mf said “and now it’s time for the acoustic set” ????
68.
interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resumeme: yes that's when i didn't have a job
69.
“WyD oN vALenTiNeS dAy” going to work its a Monday lmaoo
70.
big news, my bodega guy promoted me from “boss” to “my brother”
71.
“who hurt you?” me bro i overthink.
72.
She let me hit cus I have an inherent sense of wonder
73.
[watching porn] I hope they stay together
74.
yall will be like “idk why i’ve been so unproductive recently” and then someone asks whats going on in ur life and u list four lifestopping crisies and then say “yeah but it should be fine! :)”
75.
College was so fun because everyone was so supportive of whatever lie you were telling about yourself
76.
Not having had covid yet is starting to feel like a new type of virginity
77.
dogs be walkin under ur feet Iike they’re tryin to collect workers comp
78.
Disney made turning 16 such a big deal I turned 16 and my life went to shit
79.
phone so dry i be checking tomorrow’s weather
80.
My cousin caught her dude cheating, she put her iPhone in his car and did “ find iPhone” on her sons iPad and found the girls address. My granny said “you doing all this detective work, imagine if you went to college and applied yourself ..” ????????
81.
Once a toddler learns “Why?” It’s all over
82.
Waitress said “wow” after I ordered
83.
oh ur in her dms?? ???? well shes doing her british accent in front of me
84.
I told my 6 yo we were having sandwiches for dinner. He told me he did too much homework to be eating a sandwich for dinner. ????????????
85.
Hinge will be like “we think you’re compatible with someone that is ugly”
86.
just once i’d like a pregnancy test commercial where the woman screams “FUCK” and smashes her apartment to bits
87.
dudes are like "hey i have a girlfriend now so i can't talk to you beyond fire reacting every one of your stories"
88.
I'm not downloading no new apps, if Twitter and tik tok dies that's it I'm fucking free
