Abbey's Road: Putting the 'thanks' in Thanksgiving

Once upon a time, I wrote a column bemoaning the fact that at some point in the last decade or so, Thanksgiving has been completely swallowed up by Christmas.

In a way, I still feel that loss — not in a “Why don’t we still make elementary kids do plays where they dress up as Squanto and the pilgrims” way, but in a way that doesn’t feel like celebrating Christmas for a month and a half.

(Because burnout is a real thing, and some of us are on Team Live Christmas Tree and that just doesn’t seem feasible.)

I mean, don’t get me wrong: I love Christmas. I would eat the cookies all year long and the decor is tops, though I feel the music has a limited shelf life (Sorry, Mariah). But you can count on the fact that my tree isn’t going up until at least a few days after we’ve finished our turkey and dressing, followed by Leftovers Day, followed by Creatively Repurposed as a Casserole Day.

Still, I feel like Thanksgiving deserves a moment in the holiday spotlight for more than just “That One Day Where We Eat Turkey and Collapse on the Couch to Semi-watch Football For an Afternoon.”

Am I the only one who feels this way?

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This month I’ve been trying to observe the “Thanks” part of “Thanksgiving,” because I figure if there’s anything about that holiday you can’t go wrong in celebrating, it’s gratitude.

Inspired by a text thread among friends in which each day for the month of November we share things we are learning and grateful for, I decided to start a new tradition with our family: Making a “Gratitude chain.”

The process was simple. I went upstairs and fished a roll of wrapping paper out of the attic, then cut it into a stack of (not uniform) strips.

These I placed on the dining room table, in the napkin basket, along with a couple pens and a stapler.

That day, when the kids came down for school, I explained it to them:

“Know how you like to make paper chains to count down the days until Christmas?”

They nodded, and I am certain The Architect was doing the mental math.

“Well, this year we’re starting a new tradition: A gratitude chain. Every time you think of something for which you are thankful, write or draw a picture of the thing you are thankful for on one of these strips. Then we will hang it up and see if we can make a chain that goes all the way around the room!”

I set the tone by writing down a few items of gratitude on separate links of the chain; then I hung them from a curtain rod, made the Littles breakfast and put the strips in front of them to see what they could come up with.

That morning alone, our chain grew by several links.

By the time Bookworm was home from school, she was excited to get in on the action, and before long, our chain had grown to take up a corner of the dining room.

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Periodically throughout the month I’ve had to remind them to think of things to be thankful for, and isn’t that a great example of real life?

Because gratitude is not always a thing that comes naturally to us. We would rather think of the next thing we want to buy or scroll through Pinterest looking up kitchen organization ideas or spend time wallowing in discontentment at what we DON’T have.

In reality, sometimes gratitude can feel like a chore – something we’re forced to do or feel.

But that’s not the worst exercise in the world, is it?

Are you breathing right now? Gratitude. Do you have a family? Friends? A roof over your head? Food in your fridge? Gratitude.

Our family’s little gratitude exercise — though the chain has yet to reach around the room — has been a great way for us to observe Thanksgiving by simply being thankful.

Even when we don’t really feel like it. Even when it’s hard to think of something to write. Even when we’ve had bad days.

And that, I feel, is a lesson we could all stand to learn at any time of year.

Abbey Roy is a mom of three girls who make every day an adventure. She writes to maintain her sanity. You can probably reach her at [email protected], but responses are structured around bedtimes and weekends.

This article originally appeared on Newark Advocate: Abbey and her family start a new Thanksgiving tradition