Ask Allison: My kid uses words like 'rizz' and 'mid' constantly. Can you help me decipher his teen slang?
Dear Allison: My kids use so many words that I don’t understand that I think I need a crash course in teen-speak. Can you help?
This is a true story: A couple of weeks ago, my college freshman called me and proceeded to share a monologue of his goings-on, and at about the two-minute mark, I realized that I had no idea — literally no idea — what on Earth he was talking about. Similarly, my 17-year-old recently texted me that she “ate” on her math test. Given my Gen X background, I assumed this meant she failed it — as in, she “bit” it, like what we olds used to say when we wiped out. It turns out that “ate” means “crushed it,” which, um ... who decided this? Gen Z did, I guess, and thus the good news is that she did really well on her pre-calc test.
All of this is to say that you are not alone in your complete bafflement over what is coming out of your kids’ mouths. When I asked my friends what slang terms they might need help with, in order to, at bare minimum, understand their teens (and best case, actually converse with them), my inbox was flooded with questions.
And so I subjected myself to complete mockery by asking my kids for definitions of words that sound absolutely made up but that are currently part of their vernacular, all to better help you, dear parents, have the slightest clue what they are talking about. Here’s a handy guide to decoding your child's slang.
Rizz: Recently crowned Oxford English Dictionary’s word of the year, rizz is short for “charisma.” (Why they can’t just say that is a question for another time.) Example: “Wow, my mom has mad rizz, no one is better. I love her so much.”
That’s drip, or drip: Drip evolved from hip-hop culture and now means an extremely fashionable, cool and sexy outfit or just a clothing vibe that screams swagger. Example: “Mom, wow, your yoga pants and stained sweatshirt are really drip.” (Or the opposite of this, actually.)
Mess with (or, particularly for older teens, f*** with): It took me a beat to realize that my son’s constant use of “f**k with” was actually implying something positive. He “f***s with” these kids and “f***s with that jacket,” as in, he hangs out with them a lot or likes a jacket that I’m absolutely not going to buy him. In Gen X and millennial lexicon, “mess with” means taunt or harass, but Gen Z has seemingly flipped the phrase on its head and turned it into a positive. (For what it’s worth, my son is 19, and like many Gen Z-ers, he artfully incorporates swear words into his everyday language, which I think is fairly standard. As a parent, I pick my battles, and swear words aren’t one that I particularly care about. As always with parenting, your mileage may vary.)
Pookie: Your best friend or someone you love. Gen Z would never be caught dead saying BFF, so “pookie” is the new “bae.”
Mid: Average or mediocre. Example: “Mom, this dinner you spent an hour making is pretty mid.”
Bussin’: Extremely good, so good you don’t know what to do with yourself. Example: “Mom, this dinner you spent an hour making is bussin’!” (I don’t think anyone has ever said that to me.)
It’s giving: My daughter defined this as “that eats,” so ... not helpful. Then she rolled her eyes and said, “like, if it’s New Year’s Eve and you’re wearing an outfit that’s cute, that’s giving.” So, in parent-speak, “it’s giving” means “awesome, very cool.”
Lowkey (all one word, no hyphen): My kids had an argument about this one because my daughter claims it’s undefinable but you just know what it means in context. Again, helpful! My son said it means “under the radar.” I resorted to Urban Dictionary to settle the dispute, and there it’s defined as “secretly” or “moderately.” But given how often they both use it, I think this is a word with limitless possibilities.
Pull up: No, not the thing you put on your toddler when they’re almost done potty training. “Pull up” means “come over” or “show up.” Example: “Pull up to my house, we’ll lowkey chill.”
Pressed: A new way of saying mad or annoyed. Example: My daughter wanted to buy the Taylor Swift movie and when she heard it was available only for rent, she exclaimed, “Damn, I’m pressed.”
Gyat/gyatt: Praise of a girl’s curvy body.
Slay: A synonym to “it’s giving.” Generally, it means awesome. Example: “That outfit slays.”
Sus: Suspicious or weird. Example: “Mom, what are you wearing? That’s so sus.”
Finally, though my Gen Z slang learning curve is steep, I do admit to using some of their terminology explicitly to irritate my children. (If you have teens, you know of what I speak.)
For example, over text:
My daughter: omggggg i need [insert the most expensive item on the planet that she absolutely does not need]
Me: uh, no.
My daughter: no, but like, i’ll die without it. for real
Me: bruh
My daughter: ?????
Me: boi
My daughter: STOP omg
Me: ok but bruh no
My daughter: !!!!! wtf
Me: boi bye
That usually ends the conversation. I recommend it, 10/10.
About Ask Allison: Need more help demystifying the experience of parenting teens? Bestselling author (and mom of teens) Allison Winn Scotch is here to help. Email [email protected] with your question and it may inspire a future column.
