Martha Stewart's "Dry January" Video Genuinely Made Me Spit Out My Coffee This Morning, And People Are Living For Her
BuzzFeed
3 min read
How's your Dry January going? Mine's not going too well, thanks for asking.
jennifer coolidge in white lotus toasting with champagne saying "wee-hee!"
HBO / Via giphy.com
But honestly, I'm considering giving it a second try after stumbling upon Martha Stewart's bizarrely brilliant campaign for everyone's least favorite month-long activity.
Dia Dipasupil / Getty Images
Last week, Martha partnered with Tito's vodka to kick off a campaign for "DIY January," which confused me deeply until I just watched the darn video.
Nbc / Helen Healey / NBC via Getty Images
On Instagram, people were quick to call out the fact that it was basically worthy of Super Bowl commercial status.
Puttapon / Getty Images / Instagram
Like, it's so good that it even convinced non-Tito's drinkers to pick up a bottle, which kind of feels like the opposite intent of the campaign, but a marketing win nonetheless.
Puttapon / Getty Images / Instagram
And I'm fully in agreement with the folks that demanded a raise for the entire Tito's team. (Honestly, send Martha's team a nice bonus while they're at it, too.)
Puttapon / Getty Images / Instagram
In the campaign, Martha introduces "DIY January" as a way to use up the Tito's you have lying around (since you're not drinking this month, remember?). Bold to assume that I'd ever have an unfinished bottle of vodka in my home, but I'll bite!
Tito's Vodka / Via youtu.be
She then shares a whole slew of surprising non-drinking purposes for vodka, which, after doing some Googling, definitely all check out. You can deodorize stinky boots!
Tito's Vodka / Via youtu.be
Instead of using your usual household cleaner, you can spray it on anything that needs cleaning to "cut through dirt and grime."
Tito's Vodka / Via youtu.be
Apparently, you can even add a splash to your fresh-cut flowers to keep them in bloom for longer!
Tito's Vodka / Via youtu.be
(Reminder that Martha is Queen of Flowers, so I obviously believe her.)
But beyond the vodka-related tips and hacks, it's her performance that proves she might also be the Queen of Partnerships, too.
Like, pouring what cannot POSSIBLY be any less than two CUPS of vodka into her tomato sauce while staring into the camera with vacant eyes.
Tito's Vodka / Via youtu.be
And spraying the "cleaning vodka" INTO HER MOUTH.
Tito's Vodka / Via youtu.be
...and loving it, obviously.
Tito's Vodka / Via youtu.be
And then, casually using a full handle of the stuff to tenderize a slab of beef.
Tito's Vodka / Via youtu.be
Naturally, the video ends with her sitting in front of an ice cold martini, with a twist, exclaiming, "Oh, fuck it, Martha needs a drink."
We are all Martha this month.