The Great British Bake Off 2018, episode 1 recap: France rules in a prawnographic start to the series

The heatwave has waved its last. Cosy evenings have returned. What better accompaniment than a fresh serving of The Great British Bake Off, back for its ninth series.

A new batch of a dozen bakers entered the familiar marquee to tickle the tastebuds of judges Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith. Presenters Sandi Toksvig and Noel Fielding clowned around in snazzy shirts for our amusement. Black sheep gambolled in the bucolic grounds of Berkshire’s Welford Park. The viewing nation sighed with satisfaction. 

The series kicked off with Biscuit Week as the bakers tackled signature regional biscuits, a Wagon Wheel technical challenge and a 3D biscuit portrait for the showstopper. But who would suffer the annual humiliation of the first elimination? Who’d be crowned this year’s inaugural Star Baker? And who might follow reigning champion Sophie Faldo all the way to victory? Here’s all the talking points from the opening episode…

Irish Imelda crumbled and deserved to be first out

Farewell then, Imelda McCarron. We knew you for just a single 75-minute episode but you go back to Northern Ireland with our best wishes and a slightly red face. 

The 33-year-old from County Tyrone, who goes by the glorious job title of “countryside recreation officer”, started strongly enough, with her Cherry & White Chocolate Oatmeal Biscuits declared “neat” and “delicious”. 

After that, the Wagon Wheels fell off. She came second from last in the technical challenge and her “Seaside Selfie” showstopper was deemed “simple”, “bland”, “dry” and “a bit like a stale shortbread”. None of these adjectives sounded good. Paul Hollywood took a knife to her edible head with a tad too much gusto.

I felt for Imelda as she stressed and sweated, always seeming in a slight flap or on the verge of tears. “You only have to be better than one other person,” she’d said sagely earlier in the episode. Those words came back to haunt her. 

Poor Imelda joins the likes of Peter Abatan, Pastor Lee Banfield, Stu Henshall, Claire Goodwin, Toby Waterworth and Natasha Stringer in Bake Off’s “first out” hall of shame. And if you can recall any of those, you deserve a biscuit.  

Vive la French baker

Just six weeks ago, Les Bleus lifted football's World Cup. Tonight, France sealed another momentous victory as this year's youngest hopeful, 26-year-old Manon Lagreve from Britain via Brittany, was crowned the first Star Baker of the series.

Manon’s Hazelnut Cornish Shortbreads were beautifully baked and neatly presented. She came third in the tricky Wagon Wheel technical, despite never having heard of this childhood classic - “wheelie-wagons”, as she endearingly called them. Her Matcha & White Chocolate Japanese Selfie showstopper got “wows” all round.

With Monsieur Hollywood summing up her baking as “precise and classically French”, Manon marked herself out as an early one to watch. Ooh and, if you will, la-la. 

Oo-er missus, a positively prawnographic episode

The first episode was distinctly lacking in double entendre. The closest we came was that questionably shaped, pink-swaddled baby on Dan Beasley-Harding’s Palm Springs showstopper. Kim-Joy raised a rude eyebrow but Hollywood was more prim, suggesting it instead resembled “a massive prawn”.

Talk of an “innuendo ban” in the tent this year is typical tabloid hyperbole, and Hollywood has promised that there is plenty to come later in the series. Fielding and Toksvig have a daft humour as opposed to the saucy wordplay that characterised the Mel and Sue era on the BBC. So we can expect fewer lady fingers, tarts and buns, and more surreal silliness.  

Terry's brandy snap masterpiece should have had a handshake

It was rather early in the contest to get a genuinely show-stopping showstopper but 56-year-old Terry duly delivered with his spectacular Brandy Snap Selfie.

The contest's oldest gent and owner of a magnificent crumb-catching moustache is a keen amateur artist. He drew on his creative skills to construct a 3D self-portrait that almost resembled a Van Gogh painting. “Ingenious,” twinkled a clearly impressed Hollywood. “Well done, Terry.” What, no Hollywood handshake?

Until then, it had been touch-and-go between Terry and Imelda who would get this year’s wooden spoon. He’d run out of time in the signature, producing what Hollywood bluntly called “rough old biscuits”. He was a lowly 9th out of 12 in the technical. But with his last-gasp triumph, Terry sealed Imelda’s floury fate and lived to twirl his ‘tache another day.

All eyes on Bristol Briony 

Bjork lookalike (or was it Michael McIntyre?) Briony Williams ran Manon closest for Star Baker and can consider herself unlucky to miss out. 

Her Apple Cider Empire Biscuits were a hit and she was runner-up in the Wagon Wheel technical. If her colourful Bristol Biscuit Selfie hadn't lacked a punch of flavour, she might just have stolen the first week glory from under Manon’s Gallic nose.

Who else stood out among this year’s batch? Well, we liked the look of two of the Yorkshire contingent (more on them in the moment), plus dapper Bollywood baker Anthony Amourdou, full-time dad Dan Beasley-Harding and 29-year-old Ruby Bhogal who won the series' first technical round. Good bakes.

Yorkshire strengthened its supremacy

There’s been talk of a Yorkshire takeover of this year’s tent, with four of the 12 bakers hailing from God’s own county. The entire quartet also did well enough to survive the notoriously nerve-racking first week, meaning the Yorkshire ratio has already crept up from 33 per cent to 36 per cent.

This year’s oldest baker, Karen Wright - aka “Dame Edna meets Su Pollard” - was warm, funny and baked solidly enough. Civil servant-cum-DJ Luke Thompson was full of character, while his Las Vegas showstopper was bright if underdone.

Most promising were the Asian pair of mental-health specialist Kim-Joy and nuclear physicist Rahul Mandal, both of whom combined likeable quirkiness with bold ideas and baking flair. ‘Appen they could go far, lad. 

They're still mocking Prue’s Twitter gaffe

Bake Off has always been able to laugh at itself and proved as much, right from the start of this ninth series. Toksvig and Fielding opened with a Back to the Future skit, poking fun at judge Prue Leith - who in her debut series, accidentally revealed the winner on Twitter prior to broadcast.

It was, the pair joked, an event even more catastrophic than Donald Trump winning a peace prize or One Direction getting back together. Quick! To the DeLorean! Come to think of it, petrolhead Paul Hollywood probably owns one.

But she won the first style war of the series

As the show’s four stars renewed their fashion rivalry, everyone appeared to have had a freshen-up between series. Fielding was now sporting a quiff with rockabilly sideburns, while his triple-print shirt resembled an over-designed bathroom wall, complete with tiling.

Toksvig was also looking bouncy and freshly coiffed, with a jolly star-print blouse. Hollywood, meanwhile, opted out of the whole race by sporting one of his trademark navy shirts (brings out his baby blues, you see).

The coast was left clear for Prue Leith to swoop in and steal the sartorial show in an orange smock, blue thick-rimmed specs and spiky statement necklace. Well played, Prue. Game on for next week.

First week’s theme took the Biscuit

Now we’ve got used to Bake Off being on a new channel, the producers felt in a position to shake up other aspects of the show. We've opened with Cake Week for all eight previous series but here they threw viewers a crunchy curveball. Instead, Biscuit Week was there to greet us. But don't worry - cakes are top of the agenda next week with some chocolate delights on the menu.

Welcome back, Bake Off

From the infectious giggles to the contestant camaraderie, from the workbench mishaps to the mouthwatering creations - the Great British Bake Off’s return is always a welcome sign that autumn TV schedules are upon us. And after a fallow summer’s viewing, boy, it feels good to have it back.