Patti Lupone Has Slain Us All At the Grammys

From ELLE

CAUSE OF DEATH: PATTI LUPONE BELTING INSTRUCTIONS AT THE PEOPLE OF ARGENTINA W/R/T THEIR EMOTIONAL RESPONSE.

The Broadway icon took to the Grammys stage with two purposes: 1) to pay tribute to Andrew Lloyd Webber; 2) to slay the nation with perfect vocals, iconic screlting, and a performance for the ages. Watch the first 30 seconds and see if you can keep from convulsing with sobs, despite her strict admonition to the contrary.

Honestly, I am dead watching this. I am a ghost. I am Fantine, wandering around at the end of the second act of Les Mis (another iconic Lupone rule), rocking a chic bob and an ethereal glow, getting my entire afterlife.

Lupone's appearance marks a dramatic end to a feud with Andrew Lloyd Webber, who wrote the song for the musical Evita, in which Lupone starred. Webber also wrote Sunset Boulevard, which also starred Lupone until the composer replaced her with Glenn Close. There's no drama like Broadway drama and this was a whole thing. A lawsuit resulted. There were so many soliloquies. It's astounding that someone hasn't already written a musical about it. Just imagine the impassioned 11 o'clock number. JUST IMAGINE IT.

Until then, we have Patti's Grammys performance, a recreation of her 1980 Grammy performance. (A performance from which left so many people shewk that quality video of it doesn't even exist. It's all static and screaming like Cloverfield. Intense.)

We may not have the 1980 Grammys performance but our scientists have managed to restore this equally stunning performance from the same year. Watch it, clutch your wig, get your entire life, and don't you dare cry, Argentina.

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