People Who Have Experienced Grief, What Did People Say To You That Was Actually Helpful To Hear?

I recently spent the day with a friend who is grieving for her very sick family member.

I struggled with what to say. I decided the best thing I could do was to be present with and listen to my friend. I found myself repeating, "I'm just so sorry."

Sometimes, we don't have the words, and that's okay. But I'm curious if anyone here who has gone through the grieving process has any advice on what to say (or, what not to say).

Two people sit on a bed, with one person's arm wrapped around the other in an affectionate manner. Their faces are not visible
Dmitrii Marchenko / Getty Images

For example, maybe somebody offered a piece of wisdom that stuck with you. Maybe a loved one said something that hit the right chord and helped you through.

Three people sit closely on a couch, holding hands, appearing to comfort each other
Fg Trade / Getty Images

Or maybe somebody shared something totally unhelpful, and we should all do our best to keep those thoughts...unsaid.

An older woman with white hair, wearing a patterned top, looks concerned with her hand raised, possibly reaching out or gesturing
Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images

Or maybe it's not what somebody said, but what they did for you.

Two people embrace in a comforting hug. Their faces are not visible
Maskot / Getty Images

Did a friend notice you were struggling and bring over food or flowers?

An elderly woman and man are sitting at a kitchen table eating a meal, engaged in conversation. The man is wearing a yellow vest over a blue shirt; the woman is in a red top
10'000 Hours / Getty Images

It can be hard to know what to say or do when someone you love is hurting, so I'm turning to the ever-reverent BuzzFeed Community for advice.

Although my story was about the potential loss of a loved one, please know that the words you received can be in response to any time you experienced grief (from break-ups to lost jobs to illness or pets passing away, and so on).

Because regardless of the context, I want to hear what has been helpful for you (or what you want people never to do again).

Share your advice and stories in the comments section or via this Google Form if you'd prefer to remain anonymous. Your responses might be featured in a BuzzFeed Community post.