Sometimes Self-Care Means Throwing Yourself a Party

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Welcome to Soft Launch, a column by Elyse Fox on mental health and wellbeing in a world that often feels anything but soft and cushy. In this installment of the column, Elyse examines a fun kind of self-care.

Growing up, celebrations were reserved mostly for holidays and birthdays, making them somewhat rare, but very special, occasions. I was raised in a home with more love than material things, so I knew once I saw the ruby red Betty Crocker cake box that it was going to be a good day. There’s something special about the anticipation of a celebration with a good meal, sweet treats, and loved ones that sparked joy and created lasting memories that I still revisit today.

So, when a friend joyfully made a comment about my recent accomplishments and asked how I planned to revel in them, I was caught off guard. I shrugged it off in the moment, but later I wondered about placing myself in the center of celebrations. Rather than a holiday, what if I made an occasion of my big wins? We have so much insight into other people’s lives thanks to social media, and that can mean that we seldom consider ourselves, or fail to really take the time to appreciate our achievements before moving to the next big thing. It’s time to turn the spotlight around.

Self-love and recognition are crucial for building confidence and a positive self-image. Recognizing small wins along the way is not only an important part of making progress, but can also help keep you motivated. And, in times of stress (like, I don't know, a hugely consequential presidential election), celebrating yourself is a form of much-needed release.

“Consistent self-celebration allows you to focus on you. You’re in charge of it, it doesn’t rely on any external validation. The process that you engage in to get to the end point of a celebration will be the tools that allow you to build resilience and celebrate yourself time and time again, creating a snowball effect of self-reflection and positivity,” says Raven Stralow LMSW of Hello Joy Therapy “Engaging in these rituals is an extension of a meditative practice. In the same vain as meditation, it doesn’t have to be perfect, it’s about looking inward to find things to celebrate. The more you practice the more you’ll look to celebrating yourself as a means of resiliency.“

Whether you just barely passed that exam, worked through a hard conversation, or simply made it through a challenging week, it’s time to embrace your achievements. From tiny self-indulgent moments to bigger self-care rituals, this guide will show you how to unapologetically celebrate the incredible person you are. Sure, maybe you won’t throw a whole party because you got through a tough workout, or worked up the courage to make an important phone call, but that’s not totally the point. Holidays are special because they don’t happen every day, but celebrating moments big and small doesn’t take the sparkle from those group observances. Instead, it offers you a chance to feel the love on the daily.

“One small way I practice this consistently is ordering dessert first when I dine out,” Stralow says. “Getting dessert is a way I don’t delay gratification, which can be weaponized. It also helps me create a positive relationship with food.”

The goal is to make self-celebration a part of your everyday life. With that in mind, here's how to celebrate yourself in ways big and small:

Make a ‘Win’ Board: Dedicate a few minutes each day to jot down things you’ve completed. This can help shift your focus from what you lack to what you have. Write down personal milestones, no matter how big or small, whether it’s landing a new job, navigating a mental health struggle, or reflecting on getting through your to-do list.

Weekly Check-Ins: Every week, set aside time to reflect on moments that boosted your sense of self. Treat yourself to something special — perhaps a TV night, dessert, or a new book.

Monthly Celebrations: You made it through another month, that is definitely something to celebrate. At the end of each month, plan a small celebration. This could be a dinner out, learning a new craft, or even a solo adventure somewhere new. There are plenty of cool apps that can help you choose your next adventure.

Create a surprise and delight jar: Grab a pen, small pieces of paper, and a jar with a lid. On each paper write down things that bring you joy —like jokes that made you LOL, your favorite memes, and positive affirmations — then seal them inside. Whenever you’re in need of a mood boost, pull a paper from the jar.

A Day of ‘Yes’: Dedicate one day to say ‘yes’ to activities that haven't been a priority, whether it’s painting, writing, cooking, or playing an instrument. Celebrating your creativity is vital for self-expression.

Host a ‘No Reason’ Party: You can go all out and host a Fall Equinox Zodiac party or organize a $20 dorm gathering with friends. The point is to celebrate with your community. This can be a casual happy hour with your favorite people, a seated dinner, or you can go all out with a curated theme and decor.

Digital Detox Day: What’s a better way to connect with yourself than to block out distractions? Schedule a block of time away from social media and technology. Use this time to reconnect with yourself and reflect on what you need without external comparisons. I like to use this time to understand my why when using social media. Before signing off I curate my timeline by removing or blocking pages that don’t fit into my why or don’t help me feel my best. The role social media has with your mental health should be revisited often.

I encourage you to explore this form of self care, you deserve it. Embrace the good moments, acknowledge your growth, and give yourself permission to bask in where you are now. I’m off to plan my next solo celebration.

Originally Appeared on Teen Vogue