It’s Official: Here’s What Your Stroller Brand Says About You as a Human
In case you haven't noticed, everything you do, buy or wear in the parenting sphere is code for something else. So we went ahead and did the code-cracking for you. (You’re welcome.) Here, what your stroller is communicating to the world.
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BOB Revolution Pro
You’ve done Whole 30 twice and ran the NYC marathon while you were six months pregnant. While some moms cringe at the thought of grocery shopping in the rain, you use it as an opportunity to train. (Um, Ironman anyone?)
Maclaren Mark II
You hand-crochet baby clothes, make your own organic sunscreen and turn your house into The Polar Express every Christmas. You need a stroller that clocks in at under ten pounds, so you can lug it up the stairs to your breastfeeding support group.
UPPAbaby Vista
You’re the type of mom who goes to the drugstore with a full face of makeup, and your living room looks you don’t even have children. You believe kids’ shirts should always be tucked in (how??) and your stroller has never once had a goldfish crumb in it.
Cosco Umbrella Stroller
You’re perpetually late, always forgetting your keys and you’ve definitely Googled “motherhood memory loss” on more than one occasion. Your catchphrase may or may not be, “Did I leave the oven on?” This is the fifth stroller you’ve left at your in-laws’ house in the last year, so why bother with something fancy?
Joovy Scooter X2 Double stroller
Your social calendar fills up months in advance, and there are several playgrounds you don’t go to anymore because “politics.” When you aren’t busy teaching your twins Mandarin or raising money for the preschool auction, you’re organizing music and movement class in your elaborate playroom (formerly husband’s home office).
Stokke Xplory
You split your time between your summer home in Turks and Caicos and your winter home in Aspen. Your children drink their juice from Tiffany Silver goblets and you are always sending the night nurse home with peonies that are about to "go bad." You love having a stroller that takes you from mommy-and-me yoga to galas at the Met.
Bugaboo Bee
Your walls are covered in original artwork (including framed masterpieces by your budding Picasso), and nothing you’ve ever owned is beige. You don’t think there’s anything remotely embarrassing about the words “Bugaboo Bee.” In fact, it would make a cute name for a pottery studio.
City Mini GT
You order the second cheapest bottle of wine at restaurants and have a basement filled with two-for-one paper towels from Rite Aid. You bought the accompanying cup holder in the hopes that you could put your PSL from Starbucks there, but really it’s just filled with dirty tissues.
GB Pockit Plus
You took your baby on his first trip to Europe at two weeks old, and you’re never free for coffee because you’re always “flying back from New Zealand.” You think nap schedules are for losers, but know the best spot to buy diapers in Laos.
Foundations Trio Sport 3
You’re still figuring out how birth control works.
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