How Do I Tell My Children That Millions Voted Against People Like Them?
I awoke November 5th, immediately checking the electoral vote totals. The numbers didn’t seem to be correct. I stared at my phone in disbelief and wondered, as many of us did, how was this happening — again?
I shuffled to my bathroom to put in my contact lenses. My 8-year-old, the youngest of four, ran into my bathroom, her brown eyes wide. “Mommy, do you know about the election?” I nodded my head.
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I will never forget what she said next. “How did he win when he never says anything nice?”
All I could say was, “I don’t know.” Because how do I tell my smart, beautiful, inclusive, energetic little Black girl that millions of people voted against someone who looks like her, and instead chose to vote in favor of a man who thrives on lies, insults, assaults, and division?
Parents know that young kids tend to think in black and white. People are deemed “good” or “bad,” “safe” or “unsafe,” or, in this case, “nice” or “mean.” Yet, in this election, adults seemed to categorize the candidates in the same manner. In my view, a vote for Trump was a vote for racism, sexism, ableism, sexual and verbal assaults, homophobia, death threats, and much more.
Over the past several weeks, I have spent a lot of my social media time — a decent following between platforms — advocating for the election of Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. As a Christian mom of four Black and adopted children, a two-time breast cancer survivor, and the facilitator of a large, local, and diverse adoption and foster care support group, I feel strongly that Harris would be the best candidate to represent inclusion, empathy, and progress that our country desperately needs.
My family embodies several factors that Trump and Vance not only oppose, but openly hate. We are multiracial. I didn’t birth my kids. I’m a less-than-ideal woman (no boobs, thanks to cancer) to a president-elect who openly and unabashedly ranks women based on their appearance. Several of us are disabled. We also rely on public school to provide some of our children with the IEPs they require to be able to access their education. We reside in a liberal state, the first to ban book bans.
I’ve shared with my kids the various clues along the campaigning journey that demonstrate that Trump is nothing like the person our faith calls us to be. I am not intending to push my faith on anyone when I share this. Rather, I want to share why we were so opposed to a Trump-Vance presidency.
The Bible teaches Christians to love God and love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Our neighbor is anyone who isn’t us. The Bible also tells us to be “salt and light,” to care for “the least of these” (people in need), and “seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.”
We didn’t choose to support Harris and Walz because we found them to be mascots of our faith. We chose them because our faith commands us to take, and not take, certain actions. Harris and Walz better reflect our spiritual values, as well as our family’s values and existence.
I spent November 5th slipping between depression and dissociation — while still doing all my mom duties. The day continued as usual: a medical appointment, volunteering at one child’s school, laundry, and after-school sports practices. My minivan zipped all around town. I sipped coffee, took the dog on a quick walk, and waited for my children’s school buses. I saw a few social media posts that said life will continue as usual — but I don’t believe it. Not for my family. Not for my children.
I am full of a sorrowful rage that cannot be put into words. When I think of what’s at stake, and how these impact the communities I’m part of, I am devastated. IVF coverage and options — including for breast cancer survivors and infertile people. Education — especially for those in liberal states and those who have disabled kids who rely on IEPs and 504s. Safety — for women, people of color, LGBTQIA folks, veterans, the disabled, children, the elderly.
The election of a deranged, unhinged, cognitively-declining, privileged man-bully is so incredibly dangerous for nearly every American — and yet here we are. There is no justification.
The reality is that we simply do not only feel rejected and unseen, but also violated and vulnerable. We were cautiously optimistic that America was ready to turn from hatred, exclusion, and selective privilege, and turn towards unity, inclusion, and progress. “Liberty and justice” has once again been reserved for a select few, resulting in leaving the majority of Americans with dwindling protections and freedoms that, at least for now, not only keep us safe but allow us to flourish.
Mickey Guyton, a Black country music, Grammy-nominated artist, has a song called “What Are You Going To Tell Her?” I implore you to listen or read the lyrics (but keep the tissues handy). She eloquently articulates how many of us feel right now, especially when talking to our daughters.
I won’t end with a cheesy platitude. I don’t have any answers. I am grieving, like many of you, and I feel a bit lost, broken, and fearful. I think that in the coming days, these will give way to righteous anger … but, more importantly, evolve into a fresh determination to continue fighting for what all people deserve, including the four most important in my life.
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