Terri White: Kids say the darndest things
Jun. 23—Art Linkletter, a former teacher, hosted the TV show, "Kids Say the Darndest Things" from 1959-67. To find children, he wrote to schools, asking teachers to nominate the child they would prefer to remove from the classroom for a few hours. No doubt, those were the personality-plus, chatty children.
Although Art asked an array of questions, his favorite was "what did your parents tell you not to tell me?" Too young and nervous to realize they were letting the cat-out-of-the- bag, one typical answer brought the house down: "My mom said not to tell you Daddy calls her bubble-butt."
Then from 1998-2000, Bill Cosby reprised the program with a similar format. Cosby's gift to draw out those naive answers dazzled his audience around the country. More recently, Steve Harvey's "Little Big Shots" and The Ellen DeGeneres Show brought children on their shows. Most of those children boasted high intellect or amazing talent. Still, their innocent responses never failed to charm the hosts and viewers.
Our children and grandchildren prove no different. They amaze, astonish, astound, impress, and dumbfound us. And we are unashamedly smitten. Without fail, they captivate us with their innocence while their tiny voices spout "the darndest things."
Often, as children learn our language, they mispronounce words or invent expressions. Our daughter called pancakes "pan-a-cakes" and our son said "intrastinking" instead of interesting. When excited, one kid claimed he was "upcited." Still others say "hanky pankies" for wipes, "pine porkies" for porcupines, "foot washer" for the men's urinal, "long-sleeved shorts" for pants and "foot thumb" instead of big toe. The list is limitless along with the smiles and memories of our children's budding vocabulary.
When Grandpa Don took our three littles to the park one day, 3-year-old Joseph happily swung. Then he stopped to examine the chain on the swing. Grandpa asked what he was doing. Perking up, Joseph announced, "I've been thinking about this ever since I was born." Ever the deep thinker along with a heaping dose of mischief.
As 3-year-old Lucas' mom put him to bed one night, he asked, "Why do I need to go to sleep?"
His mom wisely responded, "Because our energy runs out. When we sleep, we recharge our energy."
"But my energy never runs out." Indeed, Lucas, now age 14, never runs out of energy. Picture his 14th summer: On Monday through Friday, he practices track, basketball and football for six hours each day at his school. On weekday evenings, he practices or plays more basketball with his team. On the weekends, he plays basketball — sometimes two or three games on both days. His energy never runs out.
My husband, affectionately called Popsy by the grandkids, loves to "rough house" with them. The kids call it "working Popsy over." "Come and get me, Popsy! I'm going to work you over!" And so the rough and tumble ensues with screeching and laughter.
When 6-year-old Tristan sauntered into the living room, he announced, "I'm going to show you a new move, Popsy." Oh! The shenanigans! So far, Popsy wins every time, but no one gives up — determined to conquer him.
Once, at the post office, Lexi, a toddler, glanced back at the long line. Then she stepped in front of the man behind me, looked from his feet all the way up to his face, and announced, "Dada." After that, she eased over to the next person, a woman. Facing her, she looked from her feet all the way up to her face, and announced, "Mama." She repeated this until she reached the end of the line, charming everyone. What's not to love?
At age 4, Ryder loved his Popsy's grilled meat. He chowed down every time. But when his stepdad grilled some meat one afternoon, Ryder refused to eat. "I only eat Popsy meat," he affirmed. Determined to get him to eat, his mom called Popsy. Soon he arrived, and surreptitiously piled some of stepdad's meat onto a plate. Then Popsy sauntered over to Ryder, vowing that he brought him some "Popsy meat." That little white lie saved the day — right up there with Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.
Josie loved the book, "Jack and the Beanstalk," so her mom read it her every night at bedtime. However, if Mom forgot, Josie reminded her to read the "green bean" story. Well, she's not wrong.
Adrian, our youngest grandson, survives on a limited diet. Since I eat nearly everything, it's painful to witness his eating habits. But I'm Mimi, doing my Mimi thing, so I don't press it. That's his mom's job. I'm the marshmallow, remember?
One day, I tried to entice him to eat a slice of homemade cake because he mentioned that he enjoyed a cupcake at school. Eyeing the slice, he refused to sample it. "But cake is the same as a cupcake, Adrian; it's just not in a cupcake shape."
"No, Mimi. Cake is cake and cupcakes are cupcakes." There you have it. What more could I say?
Kids. Their blunt honesty breathes life into our homes. From their limited perspective, life remains simple. Although we adults know that life is complicated with plenty of gray areas to navigate, it's refreshing to bathe in a child's innocence — the perfect antidote to cynicism in a world full of troubles.