How to Travel With an Autistic Family Member
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Fact checked by James Lacy
Most of the time, autistic people prefer to live a predictable, routinized life. In fact, for some autistic people, even the slightest change (a detour on the way to school, for example) can be upsetting. So travel, not surprisingly, can be very challenging for autistic individuals and their families. Fortunately, there are ways to make travel easier; your choice of method will depend on your particular needs and pocketbook.
Travel Challenges for Autistic People
Travel of any sort can be challenging. Any trip requires not only a change in routine but also flexibility and a willingness to bend to others' preferences and needs. A longer trip to an unfamiliar setting can be stressful not only for an autistic person but also for family members.
Here are just a few of the more challenging aspects of traveling with an autistic person.
Any change in routine can undermine an autistic person's sense of being in control of the environment. This can lead to anxiety which, in turn, can lead to "meltdowns" or other challenging behaviors.
A trip to visit loved ones can often require a willingness (and ability) to adjust to a different schedule, new foods, and new patterns of communication. For some autistic people, this level of change can be overwhelming.
Public transportation can be tough for autistic people, with plane travel topping the list. Between Transportation Security Administration (TSA) screenings, delays, and a need to sit still and quietly for hours on end, it can be overwhelming.
Sensory assaults can be difficult to manage when you're on the road. There's no way to stop someone else from blowing their horn or shouting—and seatbelts, even if uncomfortable, are mandatory.
In some travel situations, safety can be a concern. This is especially the case if your autistic family member is an "eloper" (tends to run away) or may become aggressive.
While most people are aware of autism and understand it to some degree, it's likely that you'll run across people who stare, become impatient, or even refuse to serve a person who is behaving in an unusual manner. This can make travel very unpleasant.
For some families, just knowing that an autistic family member will be stressed is stressful. Imagining the worst can put parents or guardians and siblings on high alert, making even ordinary inconveniences unnecessarily difficult.
Simple Tips for Stressless Travel
The easiest way to travel with an autistic person is to return to the same place at the same time every year. Knowing where and when you're going, how you're getting there, and what to expect when you arrive can take a great deal of anxiety out of the process. Add to that some careful planning to include breaks and treats that appeal to the autistic person in your life, and you're likely to have a good experience. Here are some specific tips:
Pick a place and time that works well for everyone in the family. Autistic people do not deserve to be treated like burdens. No one should feel that they are a "burden" or "sacrificing" their vacation. Choosing places and times that work best for everyone ensures this.
If you are visiting family on a regular basis, be sure your hosts understand and can welcome your autistic family member appropriately. That may mean lowered expectations for hugs, stocking favorite foods, reducing noise level, and no derogatory comments about ability levels.
Maintain traditions. While some family members may love and need spontaneity, autistic people thrive on tradition. If you go fishing at the creek every year, plan on going next year. If someone in the family would prefer to try something new, that's fine—but it's best not to force an autistic family member to go along.
Plan special treats that you know will appeal to the autistic family member. If they love swimming, hiking, or any other activity, be sure to plan it in. Then remind them of the plan regularly!
Have a social story and/or photo album or videos to share ahead of time. Social stories provide a preview of what's to come. It can be very helpful to share reminders of what will happen, unique expectations for behavior, and reminders of the place and experiences to come.
Suggestions for More Challenging Travel Situations
While it's ideal to travel only to well-known, familiar locations, there are always situations that require a positive response to the unexpected. If you know you're about to undertake a challenging trip, you can plan ahead for success. Here are a few resources and tips that may help.
Use a Specialized Travel Agent or Agency
As the number of autistic people has increased, so too have the number of travel agents and agencies dedicated to the needs of families with autistic members. These services don't come cheap, but they can be extremely helpful. You can seek out a Certified Autism Travel Professional (CATP) who has taken a course and passed a test to prove that they are qualified to serve your needs.
You can also visit autism-friendly destinations that are specifically set up to welcome people with sensory-friendly experiences and resources. Autismtravel.com hires certified autism travel experts and helps families to create their own autism-friendly journeys.
Autismontheseas.com offers autism-friendly cruises in collaboration with Royal Caribbean, Disney Cruise Line, Carnival Cruise Line and others. They have professionals available onboard to accommodate "the typical cruise services" while also providing specialized activities, venue access, and respite sessions.
Choose Autism-Friendly Destinations
Some destinations are more autism-friendly than others. Las Vegas is likely to produce one sensory assault after another, while Aruba can be a paradise for autistic people. Similarly, while Six Flags may be overwhelming, Disney World is equipped to provide appropriate experiences and supports for autistic people.
Connect with the Airport and TSA Ahead of Time
Going through security can be a major ordeal for autistic people and their families, but TSA truly wants to help. According to their website:
Passengers with intellectual disabilities or developmental disabilities, such as Down syndrome or autism, can be screened without being separated from their traveling companions if traveling with one. You or your traveling companion may consult the TSA officer about the best way to relieve any concerns during the screening process. You may also provide the officer with the TSA notification card or other medical documentation to describe your condition.
Of course, you'll want to leave plenty of extra time to get through security so that neither you nor your autistic family member is stressed by the need for speed.
To prepare your autistic family member for the experience, you can read them a social story or show them the Autism in the Air video, available on YouTube.
Have a Plan B for Stressful Situations
Everyone knows that travel can be fraught with stress. There's a backup on the highway; a plane is delayed; the hotel reservation has been lost. Knowing that these inconveniences are not only possible but are highly probable, it's important to prepare in advance. What will you do if things don't go as planned?
While there is no pat answer, there are a range of options that are easy to set in place in case of emergency. For example:
Be sure you have a favorite video downloaded and ready to play just in case you have a long and unexpected wait time.
Have favorite foods and snacks packed, just in case you're stranded in a spot that doesn't carry what you need.
Have silencing headphones available just in case your hotel is hosting a noisy event such as a punk music festival.
Divide the Work
It can be hard to vacation with an autistic family member, especially if other family members enjoy spontaneous exploration, new foods, or other challenging experiences. That's why it's important for every family member to have time for their own favorite activities.
It can be easy for one person to assume full responsibility for making travel pleasant for an autistic child, but everyone deserves a vacation and help in caring for the autistic person.
Plan for Safety
A significant number of autistic people have challenging behaviors that may include "eloping" or aggression. These are behaviors that can make it nearly impossible to leave home because it's so hard to guarantee the safety of the autistic person or the people around them.
In some cases, behaviors are so extreme that travel may not be appropriate. Respite care, sometimes available through health insurance or state funding, may be a better option.
When the risk of elopement or aggression is relatively low, however, there are options. For example:
Bring child-safe locks wherever you travel and use them to secure front doors of vacation houses, hotel doors, and other entrances.
Equip your autistic family member with a GPS device such as a wristband, so that you can find them if they do wander off.
Avoid challenging locations and situations when you travel together to minimize the risk of anxiety-induced aggression.
Be sure you have calming sensory tools, medications, music, and videos easily available as needed.
Summary
For the vast majority of autistic people, travel is not only possible—it can be very enjoyable. The key is to choose your destination carefully, plan ahead, and know how you'll handle the unexpected.
There are plenty of steps you can take, like working with TSA in advance if you need to go through security for your flight. Making sure to have the right gear, from a favorite stuffed toy to noise-canceling headphones, can make a big difference.
In some cases, however, a change in routine can be so upsetting for an autistic family member that it isn't worth the struggle. In those cases, it's better for everyone involved to seek respite care to allow caregivers some time away. If you're not sure, talk to your healthcare team about options.
