Mussels flex their, yes, muscles for cellphones, science and more

An oyster, a clam, and a mussel walk into a bar . . . or, more likely, are swept by a wave onto a sandbar.

The bartender sizes them up, determines they’re legal, but then announces: “we don’t serve mollusks.” Maybe not as customers, but certainly on the half-shell.

In any case, the bartender muses to himself that oysters are the richest of the three, just look at the price per piece on any menu. Then there’s the licensing fees that restaurants and bars pay to incorporate “oyster” in their name.

Clams have their place naturally, usually luxuriating in one type of pasta or another. In the Italian section of Lewes, for instance, Linguine alle Vongole is the preferred presentation.

But mussels, in the words of the late comedian Rodney Dangerfield, “don’t get no respect.” Just look at the mound of mussels piled high in a bowl when served as a mere appetizer.

This apparent inferiority may be traceable back to ancient Rome, where the Latin-speaking patricians classified a prominent species of mussels as “Geukensia demissa.” Demissa was often incorrectly translated as “dismissa” in Old English, and thus the dismissal connotation relative to mussels was born in our language and has been maintained ever since.

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Do mussels have might when it comes to ... cellphones?

Nonetheless, and despite their reputation for being humble, mussels and their functionality have increasingly become the object of serious research.

For instance, as recently reported by Popular Science magazine, materials engineers are studying whether the bivalve nature of these mollusks might help improve the design of folding cellphones. Or, to put it differently, whether the development of worry-free foldability might “hinge” on a study of the working mechanics of mussel shells.

Folding or flip cellphones have seen a resurgence of late, witness the emergence of the Samsung Z Series. Such foldables are capable of converting from one shape to another, a form of shape-shifting formerly found only in science fiction and mythology.

Unlike a folding cellphone, whose hinge is subject to fatigue and failure, a bivalve can open and shut its shell hundreds of thousands of times during its lifetime without suffering apparent damage. In the world of cellphones, though, it’s probably unnecessary to achieve that type of durability given the speed with which particular models become obsolete.

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And yes, mussels can be 'engineers' too

Having a value of a different kind are freshwater mussels that reside in rivers, streams, and marshes. They may not make it to your dining table, but they render a meaningful contribution to our lives by functioning, as a group of Yale marine scientists put it, like “ecosystem engineers”.

The Chesapeake Bay Foundation estimates there are about 25 different species of mussels in the Bay watershed. (Watersheds are not to be confused with the outdoor showers so popular in beach communities.)

Those mussels sport such intriguing names as the Atlantic Pigtoe, the Carolina Slabshell, the Creek Heelsplitter, the Tidewater Mucket, and the Variable Spike. Names that make Homo Sapiens sound rather mundane and tame.

Each freshwater mussel is capable of filtering and purifying 10-15 gallons of water a day, approximately the amount Beebe doctors recommend you drink daily. They (the mussels, not the doctors) also remove underwater hydrogen that contributes to algae blooms and dead zones.

In addition, during the process of reproduction, mussels exude a minnow-like substance that acts as a lure to attract fish. When the latter nibbles on the faux minnow, the mussel sprays larvae in such a manner that they attach to the gills of the fish.

The embryonic mussels are then transported and “dropped” elsewhere. In a sense, as one scientist has noted, fish are a freshwater mussel’s Uber — or, more appropriately, its Lyft.

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The science of mussels has even hit high school classrooms

Given the ability of freshwater mussels to clean up rivers and streams, combined with an unfortunate rapid decrease in their numbers, it’s not surprising that environmentalists have tried to partner with local schools to have the study of mussels included in the science curriculum or as part of co-curricular activities. (They have not gone so far as to argue for their inclusion on the lunchroom menu.)

Thus, the Philadelphia Water Department, of all places, has partnered with Lankenau High School to explore the impact of mussels on the Schuylkill. That river, pronounced “school-kill,” has proven to be the exact opposite of the implied connotation. The students have eagerly undertaken an original study of the effects of rising temperatures on the growth and efficacy of freshwater mussels.

One wonders what the scalability — a particularly apt word when considering fish and their kin — is of such partnerships. It sounds like something those 21st century Vikings at Cape Henlopen High might want to engage in, possibly in conjunction with the Center for Inland Bays. It would be a curricular addition that could be approved without floating, and I use that word advisedly, a school district financial referendum.

Mike Berger is a freelance writer and retired university administrator with a home in Lewes. Contact him at [email protected].

This article originally appeared on Salisbury Daily Times: Mussels flex their, yes, muscles for cellphones, science and more