Will You Get a Tanicure or a Face-Slap Massage?

Photo: Kyle Ericksen/WWD

By Kate Sullivan

Gosh, at least once during every long Northeastern winter, I look down at my hands, barely visible under the sleeve of a knit sweater, and think, Ugh, so pale. Frown-y face. Oh wait, no I don’t. Until now. The “tanicure” has arrived, thanks to a London “tan specialist” named James Read and Sophy Robson, the insanely talented nail artist who has worked with Cara Delevingne and on campaigns for Tom Ford and Jimmy Choo.

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The idea is that press-on-manicured hands are given a little once-over with self-tanner for a more summery winter look. Yup. Just the hands. I can’t image that this really upgrades an overall look. And having interviewed Robson for Allure a couple of years back, part of me wonders if this funny, over-the-top, label-loving, ’90s-hip-hop gal is being a little tongue-in-cheek here. More power to her, though I think most people I know will limit their winter-beauty fakes to getting highlights and using bronzer to pretend it’s nicer outside than it is. (However, I might start faux-sunburning myself with blush everywhere but the sunglasses area so people think I’ve just been on an extremely posh vacation.)

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The Tanicure will probably go the way of most flash-in-the-pan treatments and products that seem like they’re more fun for bloggers than for actual real people. (May I remind you of the bird-poop facial and that nail polish that had real diamonds in it.) And just today, a friend texted me about a local news story about a face-slapping massage in Los Angeles. I’m guessing this one may not catch on nationwide either, but that said, if any of my enemies are interested, I’m giving them out for free.

What’s your favorite bizarro beauty treatment?

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