'Game of Thrones': 11 Classic Tyrion Lannister Insults For Every Occasion
Our long wait is (almost) over. A year after the Season 5 finale that launched a thousand fan theories, Game of Thrones is preparing to enter new territory in its sixth season, which debuts Sunday, April 24 on HBO. For the first time in its history, the series will venture completely off book, as the writers have lapped the release of author George R.R. Martin’s final two novels. So now, both readers and newbies will be on the same proverbial page when we return to Westeros, Dorne, and points beyond.
As viewers count down the days to Game of Thrones’ return, we here at Yahoo TV are launching our official countdown: #GoTIsComing. Check back here every day over the next month as we explore all of our favorite (and a few of our least favorite) people, places, and things about television’s most addictive show. From Direwolves and Dragons to the shows most hideous deaths and imperiled characters, we’re going to indulge or GoT obsession with the same fervor that Cersei imbibes alcohol. So raise a glass and toast the impending arrival of a long, cruel, and bloody Westerosi winter.
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Warning: This post contains spoilers for Game of Thrones Seasons 1-5.
If ever a TV character embodied that old gem about wit being sharper than the sword, it’s Game of Thrones’ Tyrion Lannister. (To be fair, his sword is plenty sharp as well.) First introduced as House Lannister’s resident drunken, ne’er-do-well, prostitute-enthusiast “imp,” he was later forced into respectability and even heroism as his family’s fortunes rose and fell. But all along, Tyrion’s been invaluable to Westeros for at least one reason: HIS SICK BURNS.
To help celebrate the HBO drama’s sixth season premiere, please enjoy 11 of his best and harshest snaps for every occasion. Feel free to use them in your own life as necessary!
On complimenting co-workers
Like anyone who’s worked in an office, Tyrion routinely finds himself surrounded by less-than-competent associates. Might as well keep the atmosphere positive while also throwing as much shade as possible!
On keeping it real
See, there’s a fine art to paying someone a compliment while also dragging the hell out of them.
On national pride
Think of this as Tyrion’s version of “I’d like to buy the world a Coke.” We’re all in this together!
On giving credit where credit’s due
To be fair, we have it on good authority that Cersei’s also very good at the art of tearing up papers. So that’s three redeeming qualities at least.
On calling out corrupt jerks
We should all hope to someday insult someone so directly but make it sound as elegant.
On babysitting
We’ve all had to supervise less than charming children at some point. It’s just that Tyrion WILL verbally berate them to their faces, especially if they incite riots. How else will they learn?
On family-related shade
For most people the above would constitute a heartwarming compliment, but the Lannister family is slightly more dysfunctional. Considering Tywin was the great monster of Tyrion’s life, this was probably the meanest thing Tyrion could have ever said. And this dude will never know it! Perfect shade.
On respecting the elderly
Come on, Tyrion. Cersei is MUCH funnier than Grand Maester Pycelle regardless of scrotal tautness.
On courtroom etiquette
While it can be thrilling to speak truth to power, sometimes people can say some harsh things while facing possible execution. Still, gloating that he was thrilled to watch his nephew die was probably not going to go over well with his family. Points for realness though!
On self-awareness
A poignant point eloquently made.
On refusing to backing down, anyway
That’s right, sometimes you just have to OWN your shade. The only thing worse than a bad insult is a good insult spoken without backbone. Take a tip from Tyrion and double-down on an insult whenever possible. Much like in Westeros, nobody has the time to dwell too much on your words, anyway… There’s always some new disaster around the corner. Winter is coming, and it’s gonna be SHADY.
Game of Thrones Season 6 premieres Sunday, April 24 at 9 p.m. on HBO