ABC Fall Shows Gut Reactions: 'The Muppets,' the Bible, the FBI, and a Lotta 'Oil'

ABC announced its new fall schedule, along with clips. They provide a chance to make some snap judgments, based solely on the series’ premise, the casting, and pure gut reaction. Compare my gut to yours as you watch these ABC trailers.

The Muppets
Kermit himself guides you through the premise: “It’s sort of an adult Muppet Show,” he says of the revitalization of the beloved 1976-81 Jim Henson series. The Muppets, as this new one is titled, incorporates now-standard sitcom tropes: hand-held cameras, talking directly into the camera — and, this being the Muppets, Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, and the rest comment on these techniques and the very act of putting on a TV show. The Muppets: They were post-modern before their time.

Oil
Have you been missing Dallas? Then you’ll be intrigued by Oil, a nighttime soap opera headed up by Don Johnson as the ruthless oil-baron patriarch who’s not J.R. Ewing; his name is Hap. (No matter how the quality of Oil turns out, “Hap” is the already new season’s best protagonist-name.) Chase Crawford co-stars as a young oil upstart, and pretty soon, he and Hap will be rolling around in some spilled oil over land rights and romancin’ pretty girls.

Quantico
The trailer makes much of the rigorous training undergone by fledgling FBI agents, focusing in particular on Priyanka Copra as Alex Parrish, as well as some quickie sex she has with another rookie. Pretty soon, though, there’s a domestic terrorist attack, and Alex is being framed as a terrorist suspect. Let’s hope Quantico pays off on the exploration of racial profiling this clip suggests, and doesn’t just devolve into an attractive-young-people-in-danger hour.

Dr. Ken
ABC is playing up Ken Jeong’s bio here: “He’s the wildest comedian of our time! (Community! The Hangover!) But before all that, Ken Jeong was a real doctor! Now he plays one on TV!” He also plays a husband and father of two kids (in the clip, he tries to prevent his young son from humiliating himself at a school talent show by performing as a mime. (What American kid knows what a mime is these days, let alone knows that it’s a skill to be jeered at?) I thought maybe the producers would restrain Jeong from the kind of hip-hop dance moves he ran into the ground on Community but… nope!

Of Kings and Prophets 
Clearly hoping to cash in on the combined popularity of Game of Thrones and all sorts of cable channels’ various Old and New Testament-themed shows, ABC offers this Biblical epic/soap opera. Ray Winstone plays an imperious and logy-with-power king ripe for overthrowing, and who better to do it than… an ambitious young hunky shepherd who, in the clip, kills a lion, presumably with his bare hands? Praise the Lord and pass the throat-slicing swords.

Do these clips fill you with hope and anticipation for ABC’s fall schedule?