The 'Walking Dead' Brain-Dead Move of the Week: Get Busy Killin' or Get Busy Dyin'

Every week on The Walking Dead, someone does something stupid that needlessly endangers the lives of themselves and others. Here, we commemorate those decisions in the hopes that they won’t be repeated. But of course, they know they will be.

As The Walking Dead tells us over and over and over again, to survive a zombie apocalypse, you need to toughen up and learn how to murder your fellow man without batting an eye. Unfortunately, there’s always someone in the group who has trouble learning that lesson before it comes back to bite everyone around them in the ass. Oh, hi, Morgan!

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This week, we learned that while Rick and his buddies were off executing his ridiculous zombie-herding plan, a band of murderous Wolves attacked Alexandria and slaughtered quite a few residents in gruesome fashion. You mean, not only was Rick’s plan stupid — and it failed anyway — but it left their home incredibly vulnerable to invaders? You don’t say!

We’re still not sure how the Wolves got in (Alexandria’s walls can keep out walkers, but don’t seem to do much against living enemies), but they went wild, chopping up everyone in sight with machetes. Carol immediately snapped back into badass mode, donning a Wolf disguise and taking them out one at a time like an avenging ninja. Feel the wrath of the Cookie Lady!

Morgan was there, too, and put his bo-staff skills to work cracking a few Wolf skulls. But he was still all hippy-dippy pacifist about it and letting them live; he even told Carol at one point, “You don’t have to kill people!” What show have you been watching, buddy? Even poor sweet Jessie joined in on the killing this week, viciously stabbing a Wolf about a hundred times in her kitchen. Get with the program, dude.

But Morgan remained unfailingly polite, even asking a Wolf he encountered last season to leave instead of just killing him already. The Wolf took him up on his offer of mercy… and even grabbed a gun on the way out!

Now who wants to bet that the Wolf returns later this season and shoots somebody with that gun, while Morgan stands by helplessly, looking all guilty? You can speak softly all you want, Morgan… just be sure to use that big stick to kill some people while you’re at it.

Runners-up: Carl, for almost letting that one Wolf cry wolf (ha!) and grab his gun before Carl wised up and shot him. Be more like your dad, Carl, and less like Morgan… Mrs. Neudermeyer, aka Pasta Machine Lady, for stepping outside to smoke and getting hacked to death by a Wolf. If you had just quit like you told Carol you would, maybe you’d still be alive. Oh well, hope they have a pasta machine for you in heaven.

The Walking Dead airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on AMC.