The 'Walking Dead' Brain-Dead Move of the Week: He Didn't Have to Die, Dammit!

Every week on The Walking Dead, someone does something stupid that needlessly endangers the lives of themselves and others. Here, we commemorate those decisions in the hopes that they won’t be repeated. But of course, they know they will be.

RIP, Glenn Rhee. We said goodbye to one of the core TWD characters this week. (At least we think we did.) And the worst part is, his death might have been prevented — if he and his group had been just a little smarter.

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As the episode opens, Glenn, Michonne, and a gaggle of useless Alexandrians are headed back home after Rick’s plan of herding the quarry walkers failed miserably. Rick tells Glenn and Michonne to leave those dumb Alexandrians in the dust if they run into trouble — which turns out to be great advice, in retrospect!

But you see, Glenn is a nice guy. (Too nice, as it turns out.) Even though three of the Alexandrians are wounded, he and Michonne drag them along, and they put that idiot Nicholas in charge of leading them through a village — the same village, mind you, where he previously got several members of his own group killed. Trusting Nicholas to keep a group of people safe from walkers is like trusting Barney Fife to lead an FBI drug raid… but hey, let’s do it!

Oh, did we mention Nicholas is prone to bouts of zombie-triggered PTSD that leave him paralyzed, wasting precious time? Because there’s that, too. Even Nicholas know he’s a liability, and when Glenn comes up with a plan to burn down a building to distract the walkers, Nicholas offers to draw him a map to a nearby feed store. But no, Glenn insists that Nicholas “lead the way”! Really, Glenn?

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And let’s talk about this plan of Glenn’s: It’s a bit of a suicide mission, isn’t it? Michonne even volunteers to do it for him, but Glenn says he has to do it because “it’s my plan.” Hey, you know who should do this plan? David, the guy who already has a huge walker bite on his shoulder! He’s dying soon, and he knows it. Why not have him run off, fire some flares, and take one for the team? Or how about one of the other wounded ducks? Nope, Saint Glenn is prepared to sacrifice himself for a bunch of people who, in Rick’s words, are “gonna die no matter what.”

Glenn and Nicholas head out to enact his plan, with Glenn giving this loser about a dozen pep talks along the way. But Nicholas’s bumbling navigation leads them into an alley where they’re surrounded by walkers on all sides. They’re finally forced to perch on top of a dumpster, with walkers grabbing at their heels. Cue one more PTSD zone-out for Nicholas before he turns to Glenn, says “Thank you,” and puts a bullet in his own head.

But just because he’s dead doesn’t mean he’s done messing things up! Nicholas’s dying body knocks Glenn off-balance, and the two of them go tumbling together into the pit of walkers, Hannibal and Will Graham-style. For all the trouble he took in trying to redeem Nicholas, Glenn’s reward is getting his guts yanked out of him by a dozen hungry zombies. No, Nicholas… thank you!

And don’t forget: Nicholas actually tried to kill Glenn last season, leading him outside the Alexandria gates and ambushing him in the woods. Glenn forgave him and did everything he could to make Nicholas not a worthless waste of space. But it was all for naught. Glenn, if you had just killed Nicholas back then (and you would have been totally justified in doing so!), you might still be alive today. Maybe you are anyway, but still. Sigh.

Runners-up: That cowardly weenie Sturgess, for trying to shoot walkers, accidentally shooting one of his fellow Alexandrians in the leg instead, and then running away into the woods, only to become zombie chow soon after. Actually, the real Brain-Dead Move should go to whoever gave Sturgess a gun in the first place… Michonne, for not taking David’s note to his wife Betsy because she insists “you’re going home.” Well, guess what, Michonne? He isn’t. And now Betsy will never get to read her husband’s final words, because you wouldn’t take them. Jeez, people: Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

The Walking Dead airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on AMC.